LOOK behind you!” shout the audience. Coach Farina motions to the audience “where?” he asks, “he’s behind you” the audience shout again. Finally coach Farina turns behind and there is Kossie playing the big bad scary coach.
Queensland beat Sydney 3-1 on Saturday night again, ending their season early at Suncorp Stadium again, for the second season in a row.
Koffi Danning scored again, making me look good again, the Oracle I have working for me has been consistent with emerging players, but not so good with predicting results.
Kossie got into a fight with another coach again.
Taking the pressure off him and making all the talking points about the little pantomime fights between him and his best mate Frankie Farina.
Why was Kossie upset?
"I actually had a shot at Frank afterwards. The conversation (in the newspaper) didn't happen - Frank lied, end of story," Kosmina said. (The unintelligible Kossie rant begins)
"It was a fairly immature, very unintelligent, typical Farina-esque attempt at trying to beat up the game for whatever reasons I don't know. (Farina-esque is a new one)
"He apologised so I said 'well put it in the papers where you put the other crap'. (You tell him Kossie!)
"Why Frank wants to get into that sort of crap I don't know. (I hate it when people talk crap as well.......)
"But it's finished as far as I'm concerned. (Really I think you still want to say more?)
"I just don't like liars. Don't mind a beat-up, a bit of fun but not like that."(I knew you had more, you tell them Kossie, if only other people knew what you where craping on about..............)
How lovely for a coach to be in the headlines for spats and no handshakes that were actually handshakes and fights about lies that were not lies and shoulder charges and throat grabs and swearing at referees.
Also how lovely for a coach whose team has got knocked out of the finals race being able to escape questions that relate to football; like the team's dismal performance over the year, save for a few bright sparks like Koffi Danning and Brendan Gan and Rhyan Grant who by the time where given a chance it was all over anyway. And now they are called Kossie’s kids!
Absurdity shines like a lone stream of light, like a lighthouse showing boats the way at sea; this absurdity light sooner or later will send boats crashing on the rocks. Sending drunken sailors crashing to the shore, thinking they had seen beautiful mermaids, when really they were seals.
Kossie’s antics are smoke and mirrors and he is fortunate that he has a buddy system working for him in the media. Most pressure will come from the fans and the Tractor man (nickname for new Russian owner that I stole from football fever).
An ego like Kossie's will always want the attention, but the best part of an ego like Kossie's is being able to deflect attention. Perhaps it’s time the idea that we need a showman as a coach in the A-League to promote the game is put to rest and a coach that has a grasp on tactics and some real football knowledge steps up.
So in times like these after failing to make the final for the first time in their history, it is time for Sydney FC to indulge in a bit of self reflection; time to take a good look in the mirror and all that.
And when they take a good look they would probably realise that Alf says some funny stuff, but really what they need as coach is not a caricature of a coach but a real one