Episode 5 of Stama & Toddler's Snobcast Asian Cup Experience

Your favourite football comedy podcast is back. 

https://itun.es/au/0gzc4.c

The Australian football Snobcast hosted by comedian Rob Toddler and journalist Con Stamocostas (me) brings you 

Episode 5: The Asian Cup Experience 

We reveal who won the Asian Cup, in case you haven't watched it yet. Also, why you shouldn't go to the toilet during a massive final, Ange Postecoglou stirring speech that inspired the Socceroos to victory we have the secret recording.

Plus the Cup's NRL organising committee, Cahill's selfie skills, FIFA's massive Qatar blunder. And heaps more!

The 2015 Asian Cup Review

The 2015 Asian Cup is over and the comedown/hangover has already begun.

So to help from any Asian Cup withdrawals you are having it's time to look back on the highs and lows, the winners and losers as I give out my 2015 Asian Cup Awards.

The Winners

The Socceroos

Was this victory as good as the Socceroos qualifying for the World Cup in 2005? Or the Japan and Croatia games at the 2006 World Cup?

Some fans tell me it is, I wish I wasn’t in the toilet when James Troisi scored because I would be saying it was right up their too. 

Now I have to wait another 50 years when Australia hosts the Asian Cup again and Troisi’s grandson scores the winning goal against South Korea in extra time.

Multiculturalism

The Australian fans from all backgrounds confounded nervous organiser’s worries of a low turnout by coming out in their thousands to make this Asian Cup a grand spectacle.

Multiculturalism was the one of the big winners as fans from all over the word with different ethnic backgrounds showcased a different side of culture that the Australian media usually portrays.

Usually associated with terms like refugees, boat people, or even sometimes terrorists, these were simply football fans, enjoying themselves and supporting their team and respecting the opposition.

Iran fans holding placards such as this is what a free Tehran looks like, Palestine fans watching an historic occasion in Newcastle were indicative of the tournament vibe.

The adopt a second team strategy worked to make this Asian Cup more than just about the home team, from the comedy element of Australian fans making fun of North Korea by dressing up as  Kim Jong Un, to the strong turnout in Canberra and Melbourne when teams like North Korea, China, Iraq and Iran played.

The Losers

Sepp Blatter

The sneaky Penguin from the movie Batman Returns Blatter had the nerve to come to Australia and help present the Asian Cup to Australia after FIFA gave the 2022 World Cup to Qatar.

Are you watching Sepp? 

Did you see who good this Asian Cup was? Did you see what an amazing show the 2022 World Cup would have been if you gave us the tournament?

Dudes at the AFC x2

Certain members of the Asian Football Confederation for trying to stir shit up before the final by hinting that they wanted to kick out the Socceroos of the AFC.

The AFC get two loser awards and the second one is for not giving any prize money to the winners of the Asian Cup.

An official quote from the AFC was:

“Generally, AFC is a non-profit making association.

“As such, any surpluses generated through its activities are reinvested in its competitions and other football development activities.”

My official quote back is: “Show me the Money!”

The Tim Cahill Selfie Award goes to..

Super Selfie Tim Cahill

Tim Cahill has been going Tim Cahilling crazy. Selfies in the change rooms after games. Selfies on the ground after games.

The funniest one was the next day after the final when the Socceross where celebrating with fans in Pitt Street Mall, Sydney.

While talking to the mainstream TV media scrum Cahill offered his thoughts about what winning the Asian Cup meant for Australian football and then showing the same agility and athleticism as when he scored that bicycle kick against China, he quickly posed for a selfie with adoring Socceroos fans, all in the same movement.

The Ben Williams Award for Highest Achievement in Refereeing Standards goes to..

Ben Williams

Williams’ refereeing performance copped it in this tournament, accused of holding a grudge against Iran coach Carlos Queiroz and of not giving penalties to John Aloisi as a player or as a coach.

Williams’ refereeing performance might benefit from a change in attitude he should see grudges as a place to park his car, not to hold one against one of team’s coach you are refereeing. (Thank you the 12th Man).

The Fans of the Tournament Award goes to…

Superstitious Italian-Australian fans sitting next Dave during the final.

A group of Socceroos fans with Italian background were sitting next my mate Dave during the final.

Dave who is of Italian background got chatting with a member of that group because he noticed that all five of them were doing the gesture that you sometimes see at heavy metal and rock concerts.

But Dave found out that the Italians-Aussies were not rocking out, they were actually doing the il malocchio or the evil eye which is an old Italian custom. They were aiming the hand gesture at the South Korean team to try and curse them with bad luck. 

The lady sitting next to Dave explained that because the South Koreans were wearing a red strip that meant the malocchio hand signal didn’t work so well.

So to get it to work more effectively they wore their underpants inside out, so this would reverse the curse! 

This is no joke!

The Socceroos and Ange Postecoglou should give a thanks to the superstitious and eccentric five Aussie-Italians for cursing out the South Koreans and helping win Australia the Asian Cup!

The Messi Lookalike Contest Winner is….

There was the Chinese Messi, The UAE Messi, The Kuwait Messi, the Japan Messi, but where was the Chinese Paul Wade? 

Or the UAE Chad Gibson? 

Or the Kuwait Alun Hunter? 

Or the Japan Nick Meredith?

Surely some hard working journey man comparison would be nice for a change. 

442 Asian Cup Final Podcast

I'm on latest @FourFourTwoOz  Asian Cup Podcast. It's the special Asian Cup final edition, we talk Socceroos, We are the Champions of Asia! + A League and Tim Cahill's move to China:

 http://au.fourfourtwo.com/podcasts/442FM_10x11.mp3

Socceroos Asian Cup Final Victory

Read my Asian Cup Blog. The Socceroos beat South Korea in the final and guess who missed the winning goal.

If a goal is scored to win the 2015 Asian Cup final while I am in the toilet, and I hear the crowd cheering but I don’t see it, did it really happen? 

http://www.fourfourtwo.com/au/features/dunny-wish-hed-been-there-australias-number-two

Asian Cup Blog: The Socceroos tread a new path via China

 If Brisbane Stadium plunges into darkness during the quarter final game against China I’d be checking up on Exodus Chapter 10 again, especially after a plague of moths of biblical proportion descended over Brisbane Stadium Saturday night.

  

Looking at the horrible state of the pitch and the countless bobbles it produced during the game against Taegeuk Warriors, and the sight of moths being hoovered out of the coaches and substitute benches it all shows yet again that if you ain't living in Sydney you are camping out. (That’s a Paul Keating line by the way don’t blame me I’m just an agent of information)

Apparently the six yard pitch on both ends is being replaced.  The six yard box doesn’t need to be dug up, the whole pitch does! Perhaps the groundsmen got confused, that he may of thought he wasn’t laying a football pitch but a cricket pitch instead, were usually cracks in the pitch one the fifth day of play are a good thing.

 Having to play China in Brisbane on Thursday night  means that Melbourne (Quarter Finals) and Sydney (Semi Finals) miss out on any more Socceroos games at the Asian Cup, until the final in Sydney and that the cow paddocks of Brisbane (Quarter Finals) and Newcastle (Semi Finals) will now host the Socceroos not so set in stone march to glory. 

#i'llcampwithyou

Ange Postecoglou didn’t play his best side in the most important game of the group and now he’s stuck in Brisbane.

In solidarity of the Socceroos cause many fans (me) found that the overwhelming response to the Socceroos loss to South Korea was not disappointment but sympathy.

When news came out that the Socceroos would have to stay in Brisbane for another five days, a social media campaign in solidarity with the Socceroos precarious accommodation situation led to an outpouring of support by a single Australian fan. 

Sympathising with the Socceroos plight a social media campaign almost started to go viral.

Taking inspiration from the #illridewithyou hash tag that sprung up during the Sydney siege a new hash tag started to emerge with the campaign #i'llcampwithyou.

The twitter hash tag started to show up on twitter. Ok it was only my twitter account but if it gets to 10 people it’s gone viral right?  

One point three Billion Dragons

The Socceroos will have to not only fight the threat of the Chinese momentum and their over one billion Team Dragon supporters cheering them on back home, but it’s the conditions in Brisbane that will be the biggest obstacle our brave Socceroos will have to overcome.

 To defeat Team Dragon the Socceroos will have to play two games in Brisvegas in five days.  Can they get over the swamp like conditions that permeate the Brisbane Stadium, a low lying area that often floods and causes moth plagues and kills stadium grass?

Add to that, the heat and muggy conditions and I ask you: how will the players be in top condition when they will be unable to sleep due to the sound of Brisbane locals waking up at six am to mow their lawns and weed waker their driveways?

  

More One – Two’s!

 China have three danger men that none of the Socceroos would ever have heard of. (Especially if they have the same attitude as this arrogant ignorant Australian journalist/blogger)

Midfielders Cai Huikang, Zheng Zhi and right winger Sun Ke, do the rotation of positions, flicks and one two's very well.

The Socceroos have done just two – one, two in two games and they scored one goal (Robbie Kruse against Oman) and just missed another (Kruse against South Korea).

Surely two, one- two’s in two games is not enough? That’s almost as hard as saying red leather, yellow leather very fast.

 Couldn’t host a fart in a baked beans factory!

The Asian Cup has been a good tournament but it hasn’t been a great one, it’s shown up the limitation of Australia to run a football tournament.

I don’t understand the choice of having Newcastle Stadium, with its limited capacity due to grassy hills, as a host of a Semi Final? WTF?

The omission of the Sydney Football Stadium and the lack of proper football stadia in Adelaide and Perth, the state of the pitches in Newcastle and Brisbane highlight the work that needs to be done structurally. WTF?

The AFC have has also contributed to the mini debacle, the ridiculous scenario of having teams like China, Japan and South Korea play away from Sydney and in Brisbane, Newcastle and Canberra instead is mind boggling. WTF?

The choice of Stadium Australia for games like Uzbekistan - North Korea, Bahrain – Qatar. WTF?

Melbourne is the sporting capital of the world? My Greek Hairy arse you are! The rectangular stadium in Melbourne with its limited capacity opening the tournament was a joke! WTF?

Brisbane (we’ve already talked about them) 

The coverage has also been a contentious issue. The ABC showing Socceroos group games on a two hour delay is a disgrace! WTF?

 Fox Sports coverage of the Asian Cup is great but for international journo’s to come to Australia and not being able to get coverage in some hotels because the channels have changed is really amateur hour. WTF?

Australia acts like a first world country with the way some of their citizens throw the modern epitaph “ first world problems” around,  but in football terms sometimes the land down under has “third world problems”, no wonder we only got one vote during the World Cup bidding process.

 Let hope the Socceroos can beat China. It sets up an exciting semi final against the team the Socceroos can’t beat at the Asian Cup – Japan.

Perhaps a new dream meeting in the final awaits us? The Socceroos vs Iran.

Does anyone know where serial pest Peter Hore is? Get the straight jacket ready now!

The Defeat the Socceroos had to Have

Article first published in Goal Weekly)

South Korea 3 - 1 Socceroos

There are a couple of things you can take out from the Socceroos 3-1 friendly loss to South Korea. The first point is whatever you think of the FIFA rankings system, they don’t mean anything except being a number when the players finally step on the field and start kicking a ball. Also Australia lacks depth in defence.

None of these insights are recent discoveries. With everyone creaming their pants over the Socceroos highest ever FIFA ranking of 14th include moi it’s not such a stupid thing to go all Paul Keating and say……. “This was the defeat the Socceroos had to have”.

Imagine if the Socceroos won every friendly game leading up to the World Cup and unlikely as it may be, gone close to sneaking into to the top 10……… it would have been the worst possible thing. No one wants to peak early ask your lady friend. It’s what happens at the World Cup that counts. While I don’t discard the joy at being ranked close to some of football’s elite, football is not Tennis. The World Game has one grand slam event……….. and it’s every four years.

The A League duo of Jason Culina and Shane Steffanutto combined well to set up South Korea’s first goal after less than five minutes. A poor pass by the Gold Coast United Captain his own half was kept in by Steaffantuto. However that allowed the Chung Yong to run on to the saved attempt and he motored down the right. One pass later Mark Schwarzer was on his back and Australia was 1-0 down Park Ju Yong the scorer.

The second goal was scored from a free kick that Fury left back Stefannutto gave away deep in his own half. By the time the free kick was lobbed at the far post the Aussies were too late and the half asleep defence allowed Jung Soo to flick in a goal that Josh Kennedy just failed to clear off his line. The Socceroos were down 2-0 after less than 20 minutes and both goals came from silly defensive mistakes. No doubt that would have made Verbeek furious at half time.

If you watch the reply there are three South Koreans free in the box by the time the ball is delivered back into the penalty box from an unmarked Kim Jung – Woo who was lurking free at the back post. Patrick Kisnorbo where were you? At the 2006 World Cup in Germany 52% of goals were scored by set pieces.

Kisnorbo made up for his earlier defensive mishap by scoring a header to make the score 2-1. Mark Bresciano the man who plays for Palermo produced a great cross from a free kick to set up the goal.

The second half was a much better performance but Australia coped a late goal in the 86h minute that Schwarzer appeared to save at first glance. The substitutive Striker for Korea headed the goal after Manchester United midfielder Park ran 55 metres and delivered the perfect cross.

So again the Socceroos depth is questioned. To be fair with a host of experienced names like Kewell, Carney, Emerton, Wilkshire, Neill, Valeri, Moore, Chipperfield, Garcia and Viduka did not play. The high of reaching a FIFA ranking of 14 did not last very long. It’s back to reality for the Socceroos, Pim Verbeek and his charges still have work to do. Let s hope it’s a better performance by the Aussies when they take on Holland and Oman in October.

South Korea - Socceroos Preview

The Socceroos face Head Coach Pim Verbeek’s ex side South Korea in an international friendly match that will be played in Seoul this Saturday evening the 5th September 2009.

The match kicks off at 9pm Australian time and 8 pm local. With Verbeek intent to use these friendly games to find the best possible squad for South Africa 2010 the return of some old heads brings a familiar look to the squad.

Returning into the Dutchman’s 24-player squad for the Saturday nights game are Michael Beauchamp, Jason Culina, Vince Grella, Josh Kennedy, Mark Milligan, Michael Petkovic and Shane Stefanutto. All missed selection for the recent international friendly against the Republic of Ireland in Limerick that the Socceroos won 3-0 earlier this month.

In contrasting fortunes Josh “Jesus” Kennedy has left his German nightmare behind him and has been getting crucial game time and crucially in a world cup year is in goal scoring form for Japanese side Nagoya Grampus. Unfortunately Vince Grella’s return to action for Blackburn this weekend was overshadowed by the terrible ordeal Grella suffered when he was involved in a home robbery. The Mirror in England reported that Grella escaped uninjured but was burgled at knifepoint by a group of masked men. Grella's wife Barbara and their seven-year-old twins Sophia and Victoria were not at home during the invasion.

FC Twente attacker Nikita Rukavytsya gets another chance to show what he can do as he gets to play his second game for the National Team while fellow Eredivisie player Brett Homan scored again for his Dutch side AZ Alkmaar. The Australian got the opener for Ronald Koeman’s side as they beat Willem 2-1 to go top of the Dutch League.

However the biggest talking points leading up to the game are the omissions of big names like Harry Kewell, Luke Wilkshire, David Carney and Tim Cahill. Cahill is being rested as precaution by Verbeek and Lucas Neill the Australian captain has not found a club yet.

Speaking about missing Everton star Tim Cahill, Verbeek said: “Timmy is struggling with his foot. They play a lot of games in the Premiership and the Europa League.

“It’s a totally different injury to the one he had in the past. He’s ok but at the moment it is much better to leave him in England. It’s going to be a long season.”

Regarding the situation of his captain Neill, Verbeek appeared to be worried as much as the fans about his situation:

“I am as anxious as everybody else and waiting for him to make a decision (where he wants to go).

“Again, it is better if he stays where he is at the moment. I am in regular contact with him but there is nothing I can do.

"It is totally up to him and he needs to focus on his future. He is 31 and waiting for the right moment to sign for the right club. I think there is nothing wrong with that. This is why he is not in the group,” finished Verbeek.

Turkey based Socceroo Harry Kewell was picked but Australia’s World Cup hero was a late withdraw: “I was at the [Kewell’s last] match in Turkey,” Verbeek said during a teleconference from the Netherlands.

“Harry scored a great goal but he also got a nasty kick on his ankle. I was with him at the medical and it did not look good but he is confident of being fit.

The ex South Korean boss should again indulge his pragmatic side with his favoured 4-2-3-1 formation but there are whispers that Josh Kennedy could play upfront with Celtic front man Scott McDonald.

Speaking of David Carney and Luke Wilshire late withdrawal Verbeek gave these reasons why the duo will miss this game.

“Last week David Carney signed with a new club (FC Twente) in a new country ( Netherlands ) so it is more important that he settles into his new environment and start playing regular club football again.

“In terms of Luke Wilkshire, he has played plenty of football in the previous two months,” finished Verbeek.

Verbeek’s mantra during friendlies has always been “the performance is more important that the result”. But like when he beat the Netherlands in 2007 in Holland, I’m sure Verbeek would love to get one over his former employer.......... especially in their own backyard. During the teleconference though the Dutchman was firmly on script:

“We’ll go to Korea to win the game but the performance will be more important than the result,” Verbeek said.

“Good performances make life easier and also if you play well you are more likely to win games, as we did in Ireland.

“I know the Korean mentality quite well and they will want to beat us because there will be prestige at stake.”

I’m sure fans of the Socceroos are expecting the Aussies to win now that they are placed 14th in the FIFA World Rankings(can you believe the Socceroos are ranked 14^th?), and are the highest ranked Asian nation, whilst the Korea Republic is placed 48th and is the third ranked Asian nation.

The last time these two teams met was at the 2001 FIFA Confederations Cup at the Suwon World Cup Stadium. The Korea Republic beat the Socceroos 1-0 on that occasion. Coincidentally, former Socceroos coach Guus Hiddink was in charge of the Korea Republic team on that day and Pim Verbeek was his assistant coach.

Korea Republic coach Huh Jung-moo has named an entirely overseas-based squad for the September 5 friendly against Australia in Seoul.

Because a full K-League fixture list scheduled the day after this game, Huh has been forced to recall 2002 World Cup veterans Ahn Jung-hwan, Seol Ki-hyeon, Kim Nam-il and Cha Du-ri.

The Korea Republics most famous football son Manchester United midfielder Park Ji-sung, Wigan's Cho Won-hee and new Bolton signing Lee Chung-yong have also been selected.

Following this match the Socceroos head home to Australia in October to face the Netherlands in an international friendly match in Sydney (Saturday 10 October) before heading to Melbourne for their all important AFC Asian Cup 2011 Qualifier against Oman at Etihad Stadium (Wednesday 14 October).

SOCCEROOS SQUAD – Wednesday 26 August 2009

NAME	SURNAME	CLUB	COUNTRY	A-International matches (goals)
Michael	BEAUCHAMP	Aalborg BK	DENMARK	19 (1)
Mark	BRESCIANO	U.S. Citta di Palermo	ITALY	50 (11)
Nick	CARLE	Crystal Palace FC	ENGLAND	10 (0)
Ante	COVIC	IF Elfsborg	SWEDEN	2 (0)
Jason	CULINA	Gold Coast United	AUSTRALIA	41 (1)
Vincenzo	GRELLA	Blackburn Rovers	ENGLAND	40 (0)
Brett	HOLMAN	AZ Alkmaar	NETHERLANDS	26 (1)
Mile	JEDINAK	Antalyaspor Kulubu	TURKEY	6 (0)
Josh	KENNEDY	Nagoya Grampus	JAPAN	14 (6)
Patrick	KISNORBO	Leeds United FC	ENGLAND	15 (0)
Scott	McDONALD	Celtic FC	SCOTLAND	14 (0)
Mark	MILLIGAN	Shanghai Shenhua	CHINA PR	7 (0)
Jade	NORTH	Incheon United FC	KOREA REPUBLIC	27 (0)
Michael	PETKOVIC	Sivasspor	TURKEY	6 (0)
Nikita	RUKAVYTSYA	FC Twente	NETHERLANDS	1 (0)
Mark	SCHWARZER	Fulham FC	ENGLAND	69 (0)
Matthew	SPIRANOVIC	FC Nurnberg	GERMANY	3 (0)
Shane	STEFANUTTO	North Queensland Fury	AUSTRALIA	2 (0)
Dario	VIDOSIC	FC Nurnberg	GERMANY	1 (0)
Rhys	WILLIAMS	Middlesbrough FC	ENGLAND	2 (0)

KOREA SQUAD: Cha Du-ri (Freiburg), Lee Young-pyo (Al Hilal, Saudi Arabia), Lee Jung-soo (Kyoto Sanga), Kim Dong-jin (Zenit St Petersburg), Kim Keun-hwan (Yokohama); Park Ji-sung (Manchester United), Lee Chung-yong (Bolton), Cho Won-hee (Wigan), Kim Nam-il (Vissel Kobe); Seol Ki-hyeon (Fulham), Park Chu-young (Monaco), Lee Keun-ho (Jubilo Iwata), Shin Young-rok (Bursaspor), Cho Jae-jin (Gamba Osaka), Ahn Jung-hwan (Dalian, China).

Head-To-Head

Meetings:22

Australia wins:9

Korea Republic wins:5

Matches drawn: 8