Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Alessandro Del Piero (Sydney FC) - Perth Glory Preview

There is a world famous Mural in King Street Newtown Sydney which is adorned by a huge portrait of Civil Rights legend Martin Luther King featuring the infamous  “I Have A Dream” line  from one of his speeches. Recently a companion piece Mural was added with the words “we have the dreaming”. It’s two Murals having a conversation with each other. 

We have the dreaming pic found 
No disrespect to both Murals but I think another Mural should be added add to the conversation with the words and picture of a certain little Italian number 10 that says:

 .....and we have Del Piero

Some Points from the Sydney FC/ Western Sydney FC Derby
  • No more naming roads after Derbys! Where is your sense of Theatre?
  • Sarcasm Alert: Who would have thought a local derby based on geographical lines would ever work in Sydney? Everyone Farken!
  • Sarcasm Alert: Who would have thought a team based in Western Sydney would engender so much pride & passion for their team? Everyone Farken!
  • “One Team Per State” shouldn't be uttered within the realms of Australian Football again. Rugby Toffs and undercover AFL Agents shouldn't be allowed near our game again.
  • Sydney FC looked to have finally woken up from their opening season slumber and it was 1 million Western Sydney fans hate of them that did the trick.
  • For ADP’s first home game there was 35 thousand at the SFS and for the first Sydney Derby 22 thousand at Parramatta stadium with both sets of fans singing and dancing. Is this a dream? Don’t wake me up.
  • AFL would love such passion.
  • NRL would love such crowds

Western Sydney is the Socceroos Factory
  • Ignoring the West of Sydney for so long with its rich history of supporting teams and producing Socceroos is a Royal Fark Up. One which only Rugby Union and AFL administrators could have achieved. Frank Lowy must have been blinded drugged and kidnapped.
  • Rugby said one team per city. AFL said Townsville and Gold Coast. Yet Western Sydney was still ignored.
  • The same hacks who shit on the idea of WSW, who said "it was never going to work" They gushed over the AFL & GWS are now singing its praises!
  • Just consider what kind of players would be playing in the A-League if we had some of that AFL or NRL TV Money
  • More money should be invested in Marquees and Promotion of the A-League. What else you going to spend the money on? Invest it in education of coaches who play with no Strikers and try to teach un-coordinates kids how to play with both feet?

The Perth Preview

Alessandro Del Piero has slow feet but a fast mind. He has been carrying the Sky Blues so far this season and he will do the same for Sydney FC against Perth Glory for ADP’s 800th game.

Someone needs to warn Alessandro Del Piero about Jacob Burn and Steve Pantelidis both players have a tendency to dive in early and often.

I wonder like Wellington Phoenix if Perth Glory has a raffle going in who can butcher ADP and get away with it the most?  

Imagine a Billy Mehmet type player for Sydney FC? The Perth Glory Striker is dangerous in the box with his feet and head. It’s a novel experience watching an endangered species take the field and score goals like that.

Paul Reid has the midfield ticking for Sydney FC. Ali Abass is wasted in DM and the Striker issue seems to be the running gag at Sydney FC this season.

But all that is prelude to what Alessandro Del Piero will do next.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Alessando Del Piereo (Sydney FC) vs Emile Heskey (Newcastle Jets) Review

There have not been queues like this in SYDNEY COVE since Captain Cook and the First Fleet landed and decided that even though Aborigines had been here for 40, 0000 years they didn't really exist. The buzzzzzz around the Sydney Football Stadium could be cut with a knife and be used as a gelatin material to keep Mark Bosnich's rebel wig in place.

The TIFFO told the story.  Alesandro Del Piero is such a superstar he can make 35,000 Sydney siders  get off their comfortable tanned and manicured arses and don the Sky Blue Jersey that has been hiding in their closet for seven A-League seasons.

I was in the Cove with the best atmosphere and the worst view in the stadium when Alesandro Del Piero scored that free kick. Like a lot of the action when viewed from the Cove end it felt like everything was in slow motion as the ball seemed to float in the air for an eternity before it nestled into the back of the net. When that goal went in 35,000 fans forget their crap jobs, mundane lives and the pre-game arguments about parking to engage in what other sports can never offer: A collective primal scream that shook the roof off its hinges and the wig of Bosnich’s head.

DA Media Loved it
“as sweetly as Adam Scott strikes a long iron, Del Piero's right foot sent the ball flying past goalkeeper" That’s right folks The Sydney Morning Herald CHIEF! Sports writer compared Alessandro Del Piero’s free kick to a golf swing. Merda! & Stronzo!

Never has a free kick been talked about in the same breath as a non-descript god bothering Australian golfer. Who chokes it at the end like a porn star.

Reading non-football writers articles about football is like watching white people dance at Hip Hop concerts.  Elbows and Knees everywhere.

The False Striker
How many times can someone say this? Sydney FC need a decent Striker. it’s the reason why football fans wake up in the morning. Do I have to say it again? It’s to see Strikers Shoot Farken! Won’t they think of the poor football Striker?. 

Everyday Strikers around the football world turn up on milk cartons and missing person’s lists kidnapped by over eager coaches who want to take attacking players and turn them into right backs.

Go to Twitter for more great A-League cartoons. Nothing B League about it. 
Game Points

  • No flies on Alessandro Del Piero!! But plenty on his teammates. He is ClarSH with a capital SH!
  • Was Kruno Lovrek playing as a  false number 9 or a pretend quality footballer? Is he a Striker? Does or he play midfield and like war. What is he good for?
  • Blake Powell was a breath of Fresh Air he scored a goal he plays Striker. Yeah!
  • Brett Emerton is no right back he should be right midfield what a sweet cross for that  Blake Powell goal.
  • Pascal Bosschaart can’t come back soon enough for Sydney FC fans. He will be having a get to know my position meeting with Adam Griffiths soon.
  • Paul Reid meet Terry McFlynn you’ll be playing in his position for a while.
  • Top Blokes get sacked first. If Ian Crook can’t get a win against our cross city rivals then the sack word might come up.
  • Fabio is a liability at left back but because he has that burst of energy and speed and can play a pass what else you gonna do?
  • Not forgetting the Jets. Emille Heskey scored a volley and was a menacing beast up front. How tall are you?
  • Goodwin destroyed Sydney down the right. Ryall and Emerton tch tch tch

Why do players who come to Sydney FC play below their best compared to whence they came from? And when they leave sin city to a new team why then in turn do they play better for their new club while at the same time sticking up a middle finger to Sydney FC in the process.

Scott Jamieson I’m talking to you.

Bring on the Sydney Derby!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Alessando Del Piereo (Sydney FC) vs Emile Heskey (Newcastle Jets) Preview

Normally these preview things take on a dour vibe. Some critique about last week’s performances, suggestions and ideas on what can be improved but I’d rather use this space as a bitch session about Sydney FC’s first game.

Sydney FC the so called biggest club in the country travelled to Wellington with the least match preparation in world football. Sydney FC’s cause wasn’t helped by not playing a competitive pre-season game for three weeks prior to the start of the season. It was all thanks to the one-upmanship of Brisbane Roar and Central Coast Mariners who cancelled friendlies for the most absurd reasons. If I was those clubs I’d be well pleased that their antics let to such a bad performance by the Sky Blues.

Let’s stick to the Sydney FC is the biggest club in the country theme.  If Sydney FC is the biggest club in the country shouldn't their roster reflect this?  Do they have the best local defender in the country, What about the best midfielder and the best attacker?

Oh Dear
“Oh Dearism” is a term coined by documentary film maker Adam Curtis. It refers to the shame we feel after watching all the terrible images the news shows on our TV screens. These images leave us feeling helpless and depressed and to which the only response is: “Oh Dear.” 

After watching Sydney FC against Wellington Oh dear is the only sane response.
NO pre-season games for three weeks Oh Dear!

The coaching staff decided not to pursue a late practice game, Oh dear!
Fabio:  Has a left back wanted to play number 10 as much as Fabio? Oh Dear!

Lovrek: Please change those colourful boots it makes your misdirected passes stand out more and talk about him being the new Krešimir  Marušić? Oh Dear!
Emerton doesn't know how to play RB? He only played there for a local Dutch side called Feyenoord and helped the team make a final of a small competition called the Uefa Cup. Oh Dear!

What makes this worse is that Sydney FC’s cross town rivals the West Sydney Wanderers had just a matter of days to form a team.  Compared to Lame FC the Westies looked organised and played with passion to get a respectable result against the Fisherman. It also helps if the other players know each other’s names. Oh Dear!

The Jets
What about the Jets? They didn’t do much better either losing 2-0 at home to the Pissants..  Emile Heskey was his usual self unfortunately. Both teams should  come out fighting as the saying goes. Let’s hope both teams have figured out that the start of the A League season is upon us.

“Right Here Right Now” by Fat Boy Slim should be ringing in the players ears before the game.  Phrases like “Work in Progress” and “It will take time to gel” should be cast aside and some of the players and coaches should act talk and play like they mean it!

It will be interesting to see what Alessandro Del Piero will do on the weekend now that he has some minutes under his belt. NO! It will not be interesting it will be AWESOME!

"There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn." Albert Camus 
Shoot Farken! The Terrace has spoken!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Alesandro Del Piero (Sydney FC) A-League Preview 2012

I just completed my Sydney FC preview for Goal Weekly. My editor wanted 800 words. So I just wrote Alesandro Del Piero's name 266 times.

I'll be writing for Goal Weekly covering Sydney FC's Home Games. GW will be available FREE TO FANS (except Perth Glory & Wellington Phoenix) at all A-League games.

Here is my Sydney FC A-League season preview.

Welcome Ladies and Gentleman and spoiled children of the Korn. Hello again to the Eurosnobs and to the angry militant A- League purists. It’s also nice to hear from the Johnny come lately Bandwagoners as well, it’s been a long seven years since we've seen you last.  

And let’s not forget the bemused undecided voters (people who don’t like Soccer). Let the gushing and cringe worthy cultural cringe begin. All of our football dreams have come true Alessandro Del Piero is here.

ADP as the Twiteratti like to call him has been in Australia for only  a matter of  weeks but already he has changed the life of every man , woman and child that has crossed his path. ADP has already had a day named after him and if we lived in a country that was run by a charismatic colourful dictator it would have been a public holiday for all.

ADP already has left an undeniable legacy that will live on after Gina Reinhart has mined every mineral out of Australia’s dusty earth. There are also unconfirmed reports that the sick are healing themselves with delight and anticipation of watching the little number 10 play balls that are way too smart for his teammates.

A few weeks before the news that ADP signed for Sydney FC there was talk that Fabio Grosso football greatest curmudgeon was going to play in the A-League. Lou Sticca was the man selling him to A League clubs.  Is that it? I thought. Surely we can do better than Grosso. So I found the Super Agent on Twitter and Trolled. “Surely you can do better than Grosso MR Super Agent?”  And just a few short weeks later ADP had arrived on our shores. So yes I’m saying I’m responsible for ADP’s arrival for without Trolling Mr Sticca Fabio Grosso would be here and no-one would have given a fuck.

Where are you Camping?
Alessandro Del Piero was only ever going to move to one City.
“If you don't live in Sydney you’re camping out!” Former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating never uttered a truer word in his life. With Dwight Yorke, Juninho, Kazu  Benito Carbone, and now ADP no other City in Australia could handle such a big football personality as ADP.        

Sacerdotal Flame?
But NOT everyone is happy with some of the shenanigans that are surrounding ADP. When the FFA announced an ADP day to launch the sale of tickets for the upcoming A-League season to the general public some opposition fans and media had a Twitter Tantrum!
My best friend on Twitter the Age’s Chief football correspondent Michael Lynch the Papa Smurf of the Australian football media community had this to say about ADP day:
“To anoint him in some sacerdotal flame as the saviour of the game - if I may adopt the fashionable hyperbole - is daft..” 
I actually had to look up sacerdotal:  it’s an Adjective: Relating to priests or the priesthood; priestly.

Is he fit?
My spies at SFS training caught this conversation between the coach and ADP after the 2nd pre-season game was cancelled by Graham Arnold citing player fatigue as the reason.  As a result this now leaves ADP seriously underdone.

Coach: Hey ADP sorry we had to cancel two friendlies we just can't organise shit when it comes to football in this country. Graham Arnold is sneaky
ADP: UFFA Coach I need to play Farken! How many times can I visit Norton Street & pretend the coffee isa good? That Graham Arnold isa sneaky I shoulda been playing!

And the Rest
Let’s not forget that football is a team game. And Sydney FC has had a lot of changes in pre-season. A new coach in Ian Crook has arrived and a bunch of new players. The team was looking old slow and stale under the  former boss but the new signings appear to  have pace youth and quality that has been missing.

Players to look out for

Fabio Alves: Sydney FC have had an aversion to Left Backs (does Scott Jamieson count? fuck no!) so finally they bought one  (a proper one anyway). The Brazilian had a mixed first season with Melbourne Victory but seeing a naturally left sided player will be a novelty for Sydney FC fans
Brett Emerton: HAD IT LOST IT? Please prove me wrong EMMO your club and country needs you!
Mitch Mallia: Fans got a taste of Mitch last season quick skilful and a habit of Shooting Farken! More please.....
Joel Chianese: Another young pacey attacker scored some nice goals just needs more game time.
Terry Antonis: Is the Hype of the team. Unfulfilled hype is worse than unfulfilled potential. Needs a big year.
Ali Abbas: Another naturally left sided player this time an attacker. I like the Iraqi player’s vibe. He has skill in abundance but just needs consistency.
 Yairo Yau: Another exciting attacking prospect plays for the Panama national team
Here is what the team could look like. 4-3-3
.                            Ivan Necevski
Brett Emerton, Sebastian Ryall, Pascal Bosschaart. Fabio Alves

                  Terry Antonis ,  Terry McFlynn,  Mitch Mallia

                Kruno Lovrek,    Alessandro Del Piero,   Joel Chianese

Subs: Dimi Petratos, Trent McClenahan, Ali Abbas, Rhyan Grant

Sydney FC Squad list
1. Ivan Necevski
2. Sebastian Ryall
3. Fabio Alves
4. Pascal Bosschaart
5. Nathan Sherlock
7. Brett Emerton
8. Adam Griffiths
10. Alessandro Del Piero
11. Dimi Petratos
12. Blake Powell
14. Mitch Mallia
15. Terry McFlynn
16. Joel Chianese
17. Terry Antonis
18. Trent McClenahan
19. Kruno Lovrek
20. Vedran Janjetovic
22. Ali Abbas
23. Rhyan Grant
24. Hagi Gligor
25. Daniel Petkovski

Ins: Fabio Alves (Melbourne Victory), Nathan Sherlock (Sydney FC youth), Adam Griffiths (Hangzhou, China), Alessandro Del Piero (Juventus, Italy), Blake Powell (Sydney FC Youth), Mitch Mallia (NYL Youth), Trent McClenahan (Central Coast Mariners), Kruno Lovrek (Qingdao Jonoon, China), Vedran Janjetovic (Sydney United), Yairo Yau (San Miguelito, Panama), Ali Abbas (Newcastle Jets), Hagi Gligor (Sydney FC Youth), Daniel Petkovski (Sydney FC Youth).

Outs: Liam Reddy (Released), Jamie Coyne (Released), Michael Beauchamp (Western Sydney), Hirofumi Moriyasu (Released), Karol Kisel (Slavia Praha, Czech Republic), Bruno Cazarine (Released), Nick Carle (Bani Yay, UAE on loan), Shannon Cole (Western Sydney), Juho Makela (HJK, Finland), Mark Bridge (Western Sydney), Scott Jamieson (Perth Glory).