Friday, July 4, 2014

Brazil - Colombia, Holland- Costa Rica WC Quarter Final Previews

Brazil - Colombia Side Show Bob vs Colombian Samba

"If we win the World Cup we can stay in Brazil, if we lose we will have to live in Europe"

That was Side Show Bob (David Luiz) from the Simpsons speaking to Gary Liniker in the excellent documentary "Lineker in Brazil" Of course the gift that is the internet has a picture of Sideshow Bob and David Luiz  ready for me.

The pressure on Brazil the home nation for the 2014 World Cup must by all synonyms of huge. Even though they have won five World Cup the Brazilians have a Word Cup history of buckling under the pressure. Losing to Uraguay in the last minute in 1954 and more recently The World Cup in France 1998 and the mystery of Ronaldo

That mystery was solved when during the aforementioned documentary "Lineker in Brazil the Potato chip spruiker Lineker, asks Ronaldo about what happened during the moments leading up to the 1998 World Cup Final against France. The strory goes after luch on the day of the final Ronaldo suffered a seizure and was unconscious for almost five minutes.

The Superstar Striker went to hospital and nothing was found to be medically wrong with him so after getting the all clear from the doctors and declaring himself fit to play the Striker went on to play the game whre he was poor impression of usual superstar self. History shows that France won the final against Brazil 3-0. Zidane scored two goals from corners with his head. Guess who was supposed to mark him at those corners? That's right Ronaldo.

Don't Cry for Me Brazil

The Brazilians have brought in a sports psychologist to ready the players minds before they take on Colombia. Tim Vickery the South American expert reckons the Jogo Bonito boys are crying before matches, during the game and after. Is it tears of relief or tears of joy?

It's well known before games the Brazilians turn up singing and dancing. I wonder what are they listening to before the games this time round. Enya? Cat Power? Andre Reus? I'd be crying before the game if the only strikers my team had were Fred and Jo. They are probably the worst pairing seen on a football pitch since Celine Dion and her Quebec accent played at Wembley Arena.

At the moment Neymar has the hopes of  200 million Samba botherers  on his shoulders. Hulk has been playing more like Bruce Banner and at times the the team looks more disjointed than Christoper Nolan's third Batman film the Dark Night Rises.

Still part of me wants Brazil to get their shit together and show us the real Brazil. It will make the party last longer.

Colombian Samba

Columbia meanwhile is doing really good business at this World Cup. They are taking apart every team that comes before them with football triumvirate of flair power and skill. I love watching James Rodriguez play he is an old school exponent of  Shoot Farken.  James with a H is upstaging the Brazilians in goals and in goal celebrations. I'm gonna learn me some Colombian Samba!

Will the South Americans produce a dour struggle were both teams cancel each other out because they know each other too well? You would love the cynicism and the pressure of a prospective semi final berth be put aside so the artist and football genius of Neymar and Rodriguez has time and space to shine.

Costa Rica - Holland Green vs Mean

To Paraphrase Kevin Keegan I would love it if Costa Rica beat Holland! Love it!

Those smug Dutch divers beat the Aussies and even serial flopper Robben has admitted to the world that he loves to to be vertically challenged, especially in the box. Along with their moments of thugness and smugness the Dutch have gone from exponents of  Total Football to Total Cheats.

The Dutch are a direct shadow of their former selves Their coach Van Gaal is not afraid to park the bus with five at the back and use the early release pass so Robben, Van Persie and Sneijder feed off the scraps.

But in saying that the Dutch do have quality running through their side. They are not a Kreas side by any means.

Costa Rica  could be in for one hell of a beating. The only weakness the Dutch posess is themselves. I only see them losing to the Tico's if they let their cynicism and arrogance beat them. Yes I'm going to say they are their own worst enemy but it's not just hubris that could be their downfall.

Tico Power

First they have to get through the Costa Rican Uber Keeper Keylor Navas. The Costa Ricans aren't shy when it comes to dangerous attacking threats themselves. Brian Ruiz who Fullham fans must be wondering why he didn't show his World Cup form when the team was being relegated form the English Premier League.

Joel Campbell the Arsenal squad member who Arsene Wenger like a strict parent only now loves because he is successful has the potential to scare the Orange out of the Dutch defenders.

Alas for lovers of Fairy Tales and triumphs of David's over Goliath's I fear the Costa Ricans and their "we aren't even supposed to be here today" mentality might be not be enough to win through against Holland.

The only authentic underdogs in the last eight probably have used up all their energy and luck during the Greece win. I forgive them for beating Greece and the Tico's can redeem themselves by beating the Netherlands. I would love it just love it if they can beat them!

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