Friday, July 11, 2014

Oh my God Brazil! How World Cup 2014 Embarrassment

How embarrassment Brazil! You lost 7-1 in your home World Cup. I really don't think it's a good idea if you guys host World Cups anymore - it just doesn't seem to end well.

How World Cup 2014 embarrassment for me! My prediction of Brazil beating Germany in the World Cup semi final wasn't even Klose!

Forget that 200 million Brazilians were in tears for 81 mins (Muller scored in the 11th minute). Forget that the commentator's commentator Martin Tyler was taking the piss with five minutes to go with hilarious repartee like "there is five minutes left and Brazil only need seven more goals".

Forget that Brazilian football has been shamed and humiliated and a subject of world wide mockery.

Forget that efficient, pragmatic, humourless Germany were the ones playing Joga Bonito football and eased up on the Brazilians in the second half so as not to cause them further embarrassment.

I'm the one, readers who should be ashamed at my performance. I'm the one, who sat in a darkened room for two days hiding out of embarrassment. I'm the one, who should be pointing my fingers in the sky on my haunches, looking up at the heavens and asking - Whoa happened?

Because readers, I'm the one, who picked Brazil to beat ze Germans without a second of thought. 

In my previous piece I said that the Germans weren't that impressive. I thought they peaked too early after they beat Portugal 4-0 in their opening World Cup game.

I've been taking long hard looks in the mirror wondering if I should ever pick up a pen again. I have disgraced all of Bloggerdome. I have sullied the great oracle with whom  I fear shall never grace me again with her knowing wisdom and insight.

I keep on watching the game over and over again, when it gets to Oscar's consolation goal I rewind it, then play it again seven times in a row, so in some different realm or alternative universe the score ends up a respectable seven all and it goes into extra time and Martin Tyler says - " In all my years I have never seen such an amazing comeback!"

There are so many flies on the Brazilian team at the moment and those associated with them. They're like a tray of meat sitting topless on a hot summer's day at Gunnamatta Bay, Cronulla (you Wogs and ethnics know what I'm talking about!).

It's OK for the likes of Sideshow David Luiz and his teammates to be crying like babies. I'm sure once they start pre-season training at their various G8 clubs they'll be ok.

But what about me, Dear Readers? How can I be taken seriously again? Dear Readers, I beseech you! 

How can I bounce back from such a prediction humiliation?

Before the game I felt confident picking Brazil. No Neymar, No Thiago Silva, what could possibly go wrong? 

I felt confident like David Luiz did prancing in midfield carefree, with the wind blowing in his hair, patriotic tears streaming down his face as another German skipped and hopped past him with nothing but acres of space and a return pass in their mind's eye.

Brazil's shame is my shame. 

I felt real sorry for Brazil's coach Papou Luiz Felipe Scolari. He must have had that similar feeling that millions of Soccer Mums and Dads around the world feel when they  look upon their uncoordinated children on the sideline, as they are getting smashed by superior players and better coached teams.

 His heart bleeding for his children but at the same time his cheeks puffing with pride. 

'My boys may be unco's but at least they are participating."

The Final

"Never bet on the fairy-tale" Jeff from Newtown
So the dream match up between Brazil - Argentina, Neymar- Messi, Pele's Ego vs Mardonna's Mentalness is no more. 

Instead we probably have the next best thing. Argentina - Germany, a repeat of 1986 and the 1990 World Cup finals. 

It's at these World Cups that most of my Generation the X's fell in love with football.

Will it be a goal fest like 86?, Or a drab stinker like 1990?

Can Argentina find some energy after almost being Dutched to football death?

The Argentine penalty takers must have loved walking towards the box seeing only one Dutch goal keeper's outfit and not having to contend with seven orange shirts in front of it.

The Dutch almost Mourinho'd it with their defensive structure. Messi was quiet but can you blame him? 

Poor Messi he must be sick of being chased around at this World Cup like some sort of fugitive. If Messi drove a White Ford Bronco there would be a phalanx of police cars accompanying him. (that's an OJ Simpson reference for you Generation Me's)

So Messi to beat seven German players and win the World Cup one nil in the last minute? That would be some cool symmetry. But don't bet on me predicting that!

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