Thursday, June 19, 2014

Socceroos - Holland Psycho(Analysis) World Cup 2014 Brazil

The Socceroos Greatest Ever Loss

So the Socceroos couldn't beat the Dutch. Who cares if we lost 3-2 and are now out of contention to move into the next round. Last night's game had enough excitement and drama to last forever in Australian football history.  I may be sounding like an annoying Pollyana but just being in front for a full four minutes against the Orange Botherers is enough to satisfy my football thirst.  Although the Aussies lost I feel good. Almost as good as when the Socceroos beat Japan. It doesn't quite have the euphoria as when the Socceroos drew against Croatia to go into the round of 16 in Germany 2006.

But it's still a special feeling being witness to the Socceroos greatest ever goal, and greatest ever chance of causing one of the greatest ever upsets against one of the greatest Kreas (Van Persie shoulda been sent off for that foul on Jedinak) and possible World Cup contending teams.

What's the difference between the Socceroos and a tea bag? The tea bag spends longer in the cup.

What does a Dutch Footballer do after they win the World Cup? Turn off the PlayStation.

You know you are truly part of a World Cup when you are the punchline for one of it's jokes. And being the butt of a joke is part of the fun of being part of the World's biggest sporting event. As a long suffering football fan in Australia doesn't it feel good to belong to a historic World Cup moment like last night? (even though it did end in heartbreak farken!)

Seeing Tim Cahill's score an Ubermanch goal makes the loss not so bad. Syphilis ridden German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche had this concept of a human that had other-worldliness qualities.That's what Tim Cahill's Uber goal is for me.

The bar has now been set for every Australian youngster that wants to play for the Socceroos to aim for the same height as Uber Timmy Cahill. The German word Uber means above or beyond. That goal was above or beyond every player or fans wildest dreams.  I wasn't even finished groaning at Arjen Robben's opening goal for Holland when I had to do an about face so I could start cheering, laughing, smiling, exhalting, rejoicing and even a bit of guffawing.

Is Tim Cahill the greatest Socceroo ever? It's not a question anymore it's now a statement.

The Mozz

So which one of you was it? C'mon now be honest. When the Socceroos took the lead through Mile Jedinak's penalty to go up 2-1 in the second half who said out loud "we're gonna win this!" and I know some of you even went further and said "we're gonna win this one easily".

I know this because one of them was sitting next to me. Nice one my brother Phillip. After the Dutch scored the demoralsing third goal I blamed Phillip for the loss. "You stirred up the football gods. You don't say things like that before the game is over, you stirred up the Mozz" I cried!

For those of you that don't know what the Mozz is get Tony Wilson's book Australia United. It's a funny and engaging chronicle of the 2006 World Cup in Germany. In Tony Wilson's own words this is what the Mozz means.

"What the Mozz does is inhabit the etherof the entire universe, wafting around, waiting for the faintest murmur of expressed opinion. The Mozz will then act, swooping down, striking hard, possessing any relevant animal vegetabe or mineral, and transforming the result to the opposite - usually one that is profoundly shit." End of explanation.

And so as Tim Cahill was in hurtling towards the Dutch goal at 2-1 just affter the Jak penalty and with the option of Matt Mckay on his right and another Socceroo on his left the Mozz took hold of Tim Cahill's pass and made it go to long nullifying any attacking opportunity the Socceroos had.

Not soon after Phillip yelled "we're gonna win this one easily"  The Mozz allowed Dutch Winger Memphis to stroll past right back Ryan McGowan allowing him to cut inside, Mathew Leckie tried in vain to get possession back but Memphis got a lucky bounce with the help of the Mozz of course and got the ball back  and passed it to Sneijder who returned the pass back to Memphis who then set up Robin Van Persie for the equalising goal. The Mozz didn't compose Matty Ryan and the ball flew over his head with no hands in the way. The Mozz also made Jason Davidson keep Van Persie onside for his second positioning error in this World Cup.

Later in the game when the Socceroos had another opportunity to score The Mozz  unfortunately made Tommy Oar become too in awe (thanks Wayne Snowdon) of the occasion and he took the wrong option. Finding himself in the Dutch box Oar was in a fantastic position to shoot but instead he fired in a cross that was too hard and the Mozz made Mathew Leckie chest a tame attempt at goal.

The Mozz then  made Tim Cahill get a hamstring injury so Australia lost it's best chance of scoring more goals.

The Mozz is also responsible for making Matty Ryan flap at shot by that man Memphis again that led to the third Dutch goal when Ryan shoulda coulda saved it

But let's get serious it wasn't the Mozz and it wasn't the football gods it was just the cruel mistress that is football that caused the Socceroos to lose. Time to to take a step from the blame game and acknowledge the effort of the Socceroos players and staff in serving up two wonderful World Cup games. The pressure that all involved would have been under and the memories and moments that will never be forgotten makes the critic in me want to have a rest for a while because what the fuck do I know about playing at a World Cup?

Shut Up Pim Verbeek

I really feel like it's time to rejoice at the performance and be optimistic about the future of Australian football. Australia's World Cup group has seen Spain already knocked out. The best team of the better part of the last decade have copped seven goals and scored just one. Australia has a better record than the current World Champs with three goals scored and six against. What if we had a proper defence? None of the Socceroos have the pedigree and recent history the Spanish do.Only Tim Chill and Mark Bresciano have played in World Cups before. 

Before the game and no-one thought that the Socceroos would score any goals! (Pim Verbeek). 

Many thought the A-League was an inferior competition (Pim Verbeek).

How many current and former players A-League were on the pitch Pim?  Eight if i can remember.

The Dutch just like the Chileans before them got the fright of their lives and a real challenge from the Socceroos. No-one besides the players and coaching staff and the most optimistic fan thought the Aussies had any chance of matching our Group B opponents let alone be in a position to draw in the first game and come so close to winning in the second game. 

Sure getting so close and in the end being so far from the desired result is harsh but like Winston Churchill said "Never Despair!, We got the Asian Cup coming up, what's Uber Timmy Cahill going to do next?"

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