Thursday, October 9, 2014

A-League Season 10 Preview

So the longest off season in any sport in any world is over. My sentiments exactly.... pretending to care about the other codes is done. Let the real football begin. Bring on Season 10 of the A League. 

Here are some musings and rantings of what I expect from Season 10 of the A League.

O Marquee, Marquee wherefore art thou Marquee?

Alessandro Del Piero is in India drinking Mango Lassi and collecting Rupees, Emile Heskey is in England doing the pundit thing and Shinji Ono’s is in Japan’s second division the question is wherefore art thou A-League’s Marquees?

There will be pundits on TV and in print rolling out the line “The biggest Marquee in Season 10 of the A League is the number 10” or something like that. The A-League was spoilt the last two seasons with Alessandro Del Piero, Emile Heskey and Shinji Ono

The Top Marquee this A-League season is the number 10. Why would you want a washed up number 10 when their is the Tenth Season of the A-League to celebrate. 

Judging by the memberships sales figures the lack of big name Marquees is not affecting the fan numbers. Nice work number 10! It’s taken you ten years but you’ve proved round numbers are very sexy.

David “who needs a pre season?” Villa

Word is David Villa with a hard soft L only arrived a week before the start of A League season because he wanted to see as many Enrique Iglesias concerts as he could. Check out Villa’s Instagram account it’s very true!

Will the World Cup, Euro, La Liga, Champions League winner even bother to play the 10 guest games for Melbourne Heart (Excuse me I forgot it’s Melbourne City now isn’t it) before he heads over to New York to catch up with his superstar mate Frank Lampard?

Or will Villa with the hard soft L love Melbourne so much that he decides to stick around for the whole season?

Probably not. Melbourne City isn’t New York City.

Perhaps if Enrique Englesias does a 28 week tour of Melbourne he’d stay longer. Twenty thousand Euro snobs will be pissed off if he doesn’t play in the opening game of the season against Sydney FC?

Melbourne “Lipstick on a Pig” City

Continuing on with the Melbourne City theme without Damien Duff, Robert Koren and David Villa and a changed home strip and changed name this eerily still feels like Melbourne Heart. Sure it’s ok to change things around with new owners coming in but what will all those Melbourne Westpac workers do now? Only support Melbourne City when they play in their away strips?

Also Robert Koren as the marquee? The richest club in this dimension and the club have chosen a Slovenian Midfielder who used to play for Hull?

Sydney FC

Now that Alessandro Del Piero has left what will all those Euro Snobs do with their summers and their Sydney FC Del Piero named shirts?

I surely thought Sydney FC’s membership numbers would drop due to the Euro Snob factor but they’ve actually increased this season. At the Sydney FC fan day ex Central Coast Mariners coach Graham Arnold said that it was always his dream to coach his home town club of Sydney FC. Nicely said Mr Arnold the Mariners fans must love hearing that.

Are Sydney FC doing a Manchester United and lining up the attack with quality, but not bothering to improve the defence?  With Alex Brosque, Shane Smeltz, Marc Janko, Corey Gamiero and Bernie Ibinie, Sydney FC probably have the best attack in the A League. It will be back four that that will be the Sky Blues problem this season.

Brisbane Roar

My new Albanian - Mensur Kurtishi is better than my old Albanian -  Bersart Bereshia. That's what Brisbane Roar will be hoping.

The off season was so long I forget that the Roar are the current A-League champions. Is the reason I’m forgetting because of the A-League has world’s biggest offseason in sports? Or just the fact that because of the vast news and information going through our modern brains as each moment occurs we are simultaneously experiencing and forgetting them.

Western Sydney Wanderers

Can they repeat last two season’s success and lose the grand final three seasons in a row? 

Can they lose the Asian Champions League Final in between and lose four finals in a row? 

Everyone knows the real star of the team is The Red and Black Bloc. Perhaps they should try a new way of supporting their team. Perhaps they could try the reverse of turning your back on your team, and actively watch them from the front of their heads.

And what’s with the silent protesting and the I’m not coming to the game anymore because my mate lit a flare and they banned him for life protest!

Tony Popovic must be an autistic genius at the art of suffocating the opposition and the grinding out a result with Mark Bridge and Labinot Haliti and Brendan Santalab in attack. He could have been Crystal Palace Manager by now instructing Mile Jedinak to break legs and shave off that beard.

Beware Victor Saba your Ned Kelly is numbered!

 The "Mutiny” on the Perth Glory

Last season “ The Mutiny” on the Perth Glory “ was led by their captain Jacob Burns, against Lieutenant Alister “Curriculum “ Edwards.

According to accounts, the players were not happy with the "idyllic" life and the opportunities that Lieutenant Edwards afforded to his two sons Cameron and Ryan.

It has also been argued that the Mutineers were motivated by Edwards’s allegedly harsh treatment of them when asked they were asked to play out from the back.

The Mutineers look foolish now as one of the sons Ryan Edwards had amde a decent impact at Reading since he set sail for the Royals in the English Championship.

Newcastle “for sale” Jets

When will the suited and booted folk at Football Federation Australia realise that having billionaires like Nathan 
 “I want to buy the club, no sorry I want to sell the club”  Tinkler  who use A-League clubs as their playthings is not a good idea?

The Jets haven’t made the finals for years and this year will be just as tough as they have more injuries in their squad than the aftermath of a Friday Night out in Kings Cross and an NRL grand Final.

Adelaide “Mini Me Barcelona” United

So the coach of Adelaide United Josep Gombau was at FC Barcelona for seven years.

The Technical director of Adelaide United former Barca and Spanish International Gillermo Amor after his playing days was responsible for the youth categories at FC Barcelona for four years and most recently he was the director of football training while Messi, Iniesta and Xavi were there.

A slow start to the season led to Gombau being told to harden by a local journalist. The Reds could make a big impact this season they have best technical football knowledge. Will their 3-4-3 make an impact?

Central ”I’m moving to North Sydney maybe” Coast Mariners

One week they are staying on the Central Coast, the next they are moving to North Sydney, another week they can’t pay their players, another week they are opening a 10 million dollar Centre of Excellence, another week goes by and they announce a team of football scouts, the next week, they are being bought by South Melbourne.

It’s never dull up the Coast.

Wellington “does anyone care besides us Wellingtonians?” Phoenix

No Disrespect to the sheep botherers but I’d rather watch a team from Wollongong or Canberra.

Melbourne Victory

For the team that is the biggest club in World Football, it Feels like Melbourne Victory have flown under the radar during this pre-season. Usually the Central Coast Mariners fly under the radar. The Victory took the Bipolar Albanian Besta Berisha from Brisbane Roar so they should be challenging.

Will some Melbourne Victory fans rush to buy memberships because they have mistaken Allesandro Del Piero for Matthieu Delpierre ? Thinking that it’s a typo and the Blue Tongued Maestro is now playing for the Victory?

Who is Del Pierre anyway and what is the Victory's fascination with Marquee defenders Paulo Contreas ?

A League Before of Season Awards

Best Name that almost has a swear word in it: Devante Clut (Brisbane Roar)

Best use of alliteration in a name: Jimmy Jeggo (Melbourne Victory

Best misspelt marquee name: Matthieu Delpierre

Best if it worked with one Albanian let’s try another: Brisbane Roar

The Tom Rogic Groin Injury award: Tom Juric just like the RBB his groin is involved in a rather loud active protest.

The award for best use of useless A-League knowledge: being able to name the Wellington Phoenix squad besides Paul Ifill who doesn’t even play with them anymore. Just joking Phoenix........

Best Hipster Ned Kelly Beard: Victor Saba

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