Monday, October 15, 2012

Alessando Del Piereo (Sydney FC) vs Emile Heskey (Newcastle Jets) Review

There have not been queues like this in SYDNEY COVE since Captain Cook and the First Fleet landed and decided that even though Aborigines had been here for 40, 0000 years they didn't really exist. The buzzzzzz around the Sydney Football Stadium could be cut with a knife and be used as a gelatin material to keep Mark Bosnich's rebel wig in place.

The TIFFO told the story.  Alesandro Del Piero is such a superstar he can make 35,000 Sydney siders  get off their comfortable tanned and manicured arses and don the Sky Blue Jersey that has been hiding in their closet for seven A-League seasons.

I was in the Cove with the best atmosphere and the worst view in the stadium when Alesandro Del Piero scored that free kick. Like a lot of the action when viewed from the Cove end it felt like everything was in slow motion as the ball seemed to float in the air for an eternity before it nestled into the back of the net. When that goal went in 35,000 fans forget their crap jobs, mundane lives and the pre-game arguments about parking to engage in what other sports can never offer: A collective primal scream that shook the roof off its hinges and the wig of Bosnich’s head.

DA Media Loved it
“as sweetly as Adam Scott strikes a long iron, Del Piero's right foot sent the ball flying past goalkeeper" That’s right folks The Sydney Morning Herald CHIEF! Sports writer compared Alessandro Del Piero’s free kick to a golf swing. Merda! & Stronzo!

Never has a free kick been talked about in the same breath as a non-descript god bothering Australian golfer. Who chokes it at the end like a porn star.

Reading non-football writers articles about football is like watching white people dance at Hip Hop concerts.  Elbows and Knees everywhere.

The False Striker
How many times can someone say this? Sydney FC need a decent Striker. it’s the reason why football fans wake up in the morning. Do I have to say it again? It’s to see Strikers Shoot Farken! Won’t they think of the poor football Striker?. 

Everyday Strikers around the football world turn up on milk cartons and missing person’s lists kidnapped by over eager coaches who want to take attacking players and turn them into right backs.

Go to Twitter for more great A-League cartoons. Nothing B League about it. 
Game Points

  • No flies on Alessandro Del Piero!! But plenty on his teammates. He is ClarSH with a capital SH!
  • Was Kruno Lovrek playing as a  false number 9 or a pretend quality footballer? Is he a Striker? Does or he play midfield and like war. What is he good for?
  • Blake Powell was a breath of Fresh Air he scored a goal he plays Striker. Yeah!
  • Brett Emerton is no right back he should be right midfield what a sweet cross for that  Blake Powell goal.
  • Pascal Bosschaart can’t come back soon enough for Sydney FC fans. He will be having a get to know my position meeting with Adam Griffiths soon.
  • Paul Reid meet Terry McFlynn you’ll be playing in his position for a while.
  • Top Blokes get sacked first. If Ian Crook can’t get a win against our cross city rivals then the sack word might come up.
  • Fabio is a liability at left back but because he has that burst of energy and speed and can play a pass what else you gonna do?
  • Not forgetting the Jets. Emille Heskey scored a volley and was a menacing beast up front. How tall are you?
  • Goodwin destroyed Sydney down the right. Ryall and Emerton tch tch tch

Why do players who come to Sydney FC play below their best compared to whence they came from? And when they leave sin city to a new team why then in turn do they play better for their new club while at the same time sticking up a middle finger to Sydney FC in the process.

Scott Jamieson I’m talking to you.

Bring on the Sydney Derby!

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