Saturday, July 10, 2010

Football’s 10 Commandments

1) Thou shalt have no other codes before me. (AFL, Rugby League, Union I’m talking to you)

2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or take any likeness of any footballer that is on the playing field or that is on the television, or that is in the training pitch to make Castrol or Nike ads that will be played ad nauseum. Thou shall risk looking stupid when knocked out  of the World Cup early. (I did like the History ads from the Germany World Cup though, bring those back)

 3) Thou shalt not bow down thyself to other teams, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, when visiting the opposition look upon the children to make tifo and sing chants;

4) Thou shalt not take the name of the football God’s in vain; especially when using a handball to score or stop goals. ( that one really pisses God off!)

5) Remember the sabbath day (and keep midweek for cup ties) to keep it holy for football games.

6) Six days shalt thou train, and do all thy work on set pieces: But the seventh day is the game day: in it thou shalt not do any diving, nor thy defender, nor thy midfielder, thy attacker, nor thy substitute,  nor thy referee should bring red cards within thy pocket for nothing challenges. (that red card on Timmy Cahill was harsh wasn’t it, i’ll be having a word to the Mexican referee about that one)

7) Honour thy referee and thy linesman: if thy fouls may be brutal upon the opponent  Referee thy Red card giveth thee. (Kevin Muscat I’m talking to you!)

8) Thou shalt not kill or butcher a two on one chance when facing thy opposition Goalie.

9)  Thou shalt not commit hogging. (Pedro, Ramos and particularly Robben I’m talking to you!)

10) Thou shalt not steal goal celebrations and make Coke ads out of them.

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