Thursday, November 26, 2009

We're Shit And So Are You!

THE TRUTH can be brutal they say. They also say the truth can set you free. Me, I like it when the truth is funny.


And the following quote by Newcastle Jets coach Branko Culina after narrowly losing to the World Cup bound Wellington Phoenix is comedy gold: "We are only a finals team because all the teams around us are pretty shit as well,"

Not only is that quote hella funny and brutally honest but far from setting anything or anyone free, it could cost Branko Culina 10 large. Branko has already stated in a previous infamous press conference that he is only on “50 bucks or whatever it is” so perhaps some of those Jets fans could pass the bucket around.

After each Branko outburst I think to myself does he suffer from “esprit d'escalier”? It’s a French phrase meaning the wit of the staircase. The wit of the staircase refers to the perfect witty response you think up after the conversation or argument is ended. The answer you cannot make, the pattern you cannot complete till afterwards it suddenly comes to you when it is too late. Like when you walk down the stairs or up the stairs after the conversation or argument has ended. Your mind suddenly goes “I should have said that instead!”

I suffer from the wit of the stair case. I have a staircase full of polished jokes, kick ass pick up lines and hook line and sinker rebuttals. But alas on that staircase they remain never to be used at the most opportune time only to come to me as I walk away.

Branko perhaps should leave some of his wit on the staircase. But should he? The Jets coach was only making the same point I made in my blog a couple of weeks back where I  said “rather than being a selling point, the fact that any team can beat any other team on any given day is making the A League predictably unpredictable”

It’s the same message except, I did not say it as eloquently as Branko did.

With some of the on field action leaving a lot to be desired it’s the press conference where most of the quality football action is happening. But not for long it seems.

The FFA has a bad case of the “control freaks “about them this season. Gagging coaches left right and centre, then absurdly suspending my favourite albino footballer Bass Van Der Brink for four games. What was Powder’s crime?  Man handling the referee inappropriately. Van Den Brink only touched the referees arm for less than a second while debating a penalty decision.

Michael Jackson would not have stood a chance if the FFA match review panel administered the recently departed gloved one’s court cases.

Half Time Heroes Issue 4 is online now!  Featuring some of Australia’s best independent football writers with stories on: The Socceroos, A League, Cartoons, Comedy, Satire, La Liga & an Aussie Gringo @ Boca, plus loads more.

1 comment:

  1. No funny is the impact on A-League publicity of fining Branco. The FFA either don't know what they are doing or don't care.