Interview with former Barcelona Youth and Adelaide United Coach Jospe Gombau

Here's an interview I did with Adelaide United Coach Josep Gombau that was featured on the Fox Sports Website.

http://www.foxsports.com.au/football/a-league/adelaide-united-coach-josep-gombau-winning-over-australian-football-with-charismatic-approach/story-e6frf4gl-1227023549662

The 2014 Brazil World Cup Review

Even though the World Cup is over, if you squint hard enough, you can still see it's illuminating presence in the rear view mirror.

So let's do a World Cup review of all the moments that we came to know and love, the ones we mocked and ridiculed, and the times we applauded.

The Award for Bravery ( in the face of defeat, even though no-one gave the team a chance, and  it sure sucked losing, but what the hell, a narrow loss still felt like a victory.)

Obviously the award goes to the Socceroos. Australians love to romanticise international losses. Gallipoli is an example.

The Socceroos World Cup campaign has parallels with the landing at Gallipoli; mostly Australian young men, out of position and under heavy constant fire.

The Aussies narrow 3-2 loss to Holland was heartbreaking, but the way the team took the cold sword to the belly was inspirational for all the little kiddies (who were all probably fast asleep during the game).

The Netherlands game was football porn. From Arjen Robben's opening goal, to Tim Cahill's spectacular volleying equaliser.

The Aussies led for a brief time, but just like in a porn film the Socceroos were fucked by a black guy's penetrating shot.

Had it, Lost It, Team of of the Tournament

The Unifying Theory of Life, from the character Sick Boy in the film Trainspotting is the inspiration behind this award.

"At one point you've got it, then you lose it. The it's gone forever. All walks of life.  George Best, for example. Had it, lost it.

And Hot Dog! We have a wiener! Nice one Spain! The 2010 World Cup Champions couldn't recover from the Holland spanking in the first game.


Most Kreas (Meathead) Team

To qualify as the Kreas team of the World Cup, the qualification process is as follows.

Number of Kreas moments: this includes acts like hogging, diving and needless violence.

The Uruguayans are worthy winners of this award.

Uruguay had all the qualifying attributes in one player - Luis Suarez. His World Cup rap sheet is impressive.

Accused of diving. Guilty!
Accused of  hogging. Guilty!
Accused of needless violence. Guilty!

Ahh the bite that was heard around the world. CRUNCH. Tearing the kreas (meat) out of Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini's shoulder meant that Luis Suarez probably had the 2014 World Cup's most defining moment.

It wasn't just Luis Suarez being a Kreas, his teammate Maxi Periera also got involved in some Kreas action, kicking out at Costa Rican attacker Joel Cambell in the group phase.


Oh Shit! we Farked it Up

There were a few contenders for this award. It was a strong selection of teams. Brazil, Italy, Spain, England, Portugal.

Sure all the nominees Italy, Spain, England and Portugal didn't even get out of the group stage.

But it doesn't compare to Brazil's history making 7-1 loss to Germany in the semi final.

It was the biggest semi-final fark up in World Cup history; as was my prediction of a Brazil win against Germany.

The Am I Bovvered?



The award goes to England. Well done England!

Garnering one point in the group stage was your lowest ever return in your World Cup history.

It was also the first time you have been eliminated from the group stage since 1958.

Overrated

It's a toss up between Russian Manager Fabio Capello and Spanish Striker Diego Costa.

And we have a tie!

Capello, the highest paid manger in Brazil, has only won one of his seven World Cup games that he has coached.

Chelsea paid a whopping $58 million transfer fee to sign Costa from Atlecio Madrid.

They will hope he performs better than he did at the World Cup for Spain, as he only had one shot on target in 126 minutes of action.

Congratulations to both recipients, very overrated.

Underrated

For me there is only one winner. It goes to Costa Rican goal keeper Keylor Navas.

Navas is a freak. With Navas in goals, Costa Rica beat England, Italy, Uruguay and knocked out Greece. All those teams ranked in the top 12.

Navas saved 21 shots out of 23. That's an impressive 91% of shots saved.


Ground Hog Day 



"What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?"

That Ground Hog day movie quote applies both to Mexico and Chile.

Poor Mexico, they can't get past the round of 16. Los Manitos have been knocked out at that stage during their last six World Cups.

Meanwhile Chile can't beat Brazil at a World Cup. La Roja haven't beaten the Seleção in four games and have been  knocked out by Brazil in the round of 16 during their last three World Cup appearances.

The Coach who looks like he's here to fix the pipes. 

 

The award clearly goes to Brazil coach Luis Felipe Scolari.

Not one for suiting and booting, Scolari  looked more like a Plumber than an international manager.

Worst Chant

This one was easy. The award goes to the USA. Even though funny man Will Ferrell added some celebrity to it, the USA's - "I believe! That we will win" was a weak and cringe worthy chant.

It didn't have any witty lines, it didn't share the melody of a famous song, it was arrogant, dumb and simple (should I be a bit prejudice/racist and say it's a perfect representation of the US population?

No I won't as there are some really cool Seppo's out there (umm my family), but c'mon guys, you can do way better!)


Best Chant

C'mon you should know it by now.

"Brasil decime que se siente" "Brazil tell me how it feels like"

It's the Argentina chant. It's ticks all the boxes of a great football chant. It's witty, it mocks their rivals Brazil it's got history and it uses the melody of a well known song.

It's sung to the tune of Credence Clear Water's Bad Moon Rising.

Here is the crowd singing it with English subtitles.

Here are the Argentine players singing it in their dressing rooms after a win.

So that's all folks, thanks for sharing this World Cup with me.

Yours in Football, Con Stamocostas

PS Germany was the best team. 

Socceroos - Spanish Inquisition (Analysis)

I didn't Expect the Spanish Inquisition

Yes I farken started this piece with a farken Monty Python quote. Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and a nice red uniform (make that two farken Monty Pyton quotes) is exactly how the La Farken Furiuos Roja took care of the Socceroos in Curtiba.

Matty Ryan opened his legs and let the Spanish  Matador Juan Mata score the third goal plunging his sword into a tiring bull that was the Socceroos campaign as the Aussies ended their World Cup in Brazil with a 3-0 loss without a point and without any real fight left in them.

That's two farken Spanish stereotypes in the two opening paragraphs as well as the who what where and how. I might golf clap myself but just like the Socceroos players I'm too cansado (tired).

In the end the Socceroos two chief weapons (still ripping off Monty Pyton I know) suspended Tim Cahil and half injured Mark Bresciano nullified any chance the Socceroos had of getting anything out of the Spain game. 

After the Aussies performed well above expectations against Chile and Holland fans worst fears materialised in the last group game. Against the country that loves pronouncing every "C" with a heavy "TH" and every second word with a lisp, it was too much to expect anything but a convincing defeat from the Spanish who were just too classy and skillful.

Even though they beat the Socceroos convincingly Spain were playing in second gear and they are out of the World Cup this early because they kept on playing Heavy Metal (possession based ticki tacka football) when the rest of the world had moved on to listening to Grunge (vertical passing, counter attacking football).

At least it wasn't a Pim Verbeek thrashing that happened four years ago in South Africa against Ze Germans, or  a Holger Osieck double six nil thrashing. There was no bravery or Anzac type spirit in this performance where the team played above themselves, unfortunately  it was what everyone expected. 

The Socceroos ended this concert with their worst song, it was a dodgy final third and it's probably my worst music and movie analogy.

You can't blame me though! I hate writing these pieces after the Socceroos lose. I don't know about you but when my team of choice loses I rarely read the match report or opinion pieces . So I don't know why you are even bothering to read this. Are you some sadist who enjoys basking in a loss are you vultures picking at the carcass of defeat?

Hey calm down don't be a Debbie Downer, we got four more years to wait till the next World Cup and the planning starts now! Plus don't forget the Asian Cup in January we expect to win  it easily now after how the Socceroos performed in Brazil. Left foot volleys from Tim Cahill here we come! Right? 

Positives

• I just got one. We don't have to listen to Craig Foster coach the team from the stands anymore. I liked it when there was some drama in the game and the Socceroos were in the fight but this game the assistant coach commentary was too much.

Random Player Analysis

• Mile Jedinak is so laid back in interviews and press conferences he sometimes gets mistaken for a chair. The Jak was guilty of horrible passing and moments of suspect defending and to top it off he got in the way of a Matt McKay volley against Spain. One of the few Socceroos chances on goal in the whole match. Do you agree with Eamonn Flanngan suggestion that he's the worst Croatian we've ever had?
• Matty Ryan. Alexis Sanchez, Robin Van Persie, Arjen Robben, Fernando Torres, Juan Mata, Nutmegs, Flaps and heading the ball 30 meters out from the Goal-line. Poor Matty Ryan had a World Cup to forget and because he is young and potentially has the skills to pay the bills he hasn't been crucified by the media. Mitch Langerack wasn't afforded so much forgiveness I would have loved to have seen him in action against Spain but it wasn't to be.

Bullshit Stories

• Tim Cahill is leaving New York Red Bulls  and sacrificing  his salary of three million plus to take a pay cut for two million and get booed while playing for Sydney FC. Just like Sepp Blatter is going to take away the World Cup from Qatar and give it to Australia, it's bullshit farken!
• Mathew Leckie had a great tournament don't get me wrong but he is far from the finished product, and a few dollars short at being valued at 10 million big ones. Besides the chest shot I don't think he had a shot on target the whole World Cup. To paraphrase Paul Keaitng he is all Ice and no Berg.(that doesn't make sense but remember, you're not even supposed to be reading this)

Facts That Aren't Cool Dude

• Brazil 2014 was Australia's worst World Cup performance in the History of the Universe!
• Australia conceded the most goals in their World Cup History! 
• The Socceroos didn't get a point in Brazil 2014 making this the worst World Cup in the History of Australian football universe!
• NOT getting to the next round means we still can't call them "Our Socceroos". Unless you get out of the group stage it's still "The Socceroos". Sorry but thems the rules
• Dodgy defence was the Socceroos downfall this time, not dodgy penalty decisions or dodgy send offs or dodgy handballs. They did it to themselves.
• Now that Australia's World Cup Odyssey has come to an end I'm sad. The A-League doesn't start till October. what will I write about now? Make up transfer stories like everyone else? An unnamed source suggest that Mathew Leckie is not moving to Barcelona!
• Dead rubbers at the World Cup suck worse than friendlies.

Cheers for reading my thoughts and grievances over the last couple of months.It doesn't get any better for a football writer than writing about the World Cup. I might write a weekly piece till the end of the World Cup just to keep the writing juices flowing.

Cheers
Con Stamocostas

Socceroos - Pain For Spain (Preview) World Cup 2014

Hola Amigo's, Que pasa? 

Following the come down from Australia's greatest ever loss and arguably the Soccerooos greatest ever goal by Sir Tim Cahill Duke of the Left Foot Volley it's almost easy to forget that the Socceroos have one more game to go. Facing Spain was supposed to be the hardest game of the group and due to mitigating circumstances the Socceroos and their coaching and supporting entourage reckon they can beat the La Furia Roja! (that's the Red Fury for you monolinguals)

It's been a Tim Cahillathon following that unbelievable goal against the Clog Botherers. That World Cup moment has gone viral. And just like a New York Times Best Seller, an Oscar Winning Movie or a Hit TV Show, that goal has been translated into a multitude of languages.

Such has been the focus on that one moment, we've all forgotten ( this plebeian included. Hail Sir Tim Cahill Duke of the Left Foot Volley) that the Socceroos actually lost against Holland and have been knocked out of the World Cup. The last game against Spain could see the Red Fury come at the Socceroos as the Red Moderately Furious Fury or the Red Am I Not Bothered cause we won everything already and we haven't had a siesta in six years Fury. 

Overflowing Schooner vs Empty Pint

It's interesting to note the way the English press and Australian press have reacted to being knocked out of the World Cup. Both teams have lost their first two games and both teams have no chance to progress to the next round. Australia are seeing the Schooner as overflowing because the team played well above expectations and scored three goals including Sir Tim Cahill's goal of the tournament. England see the Pint as empty because it's the first time since 1958 they haven't qualified beyond the group stages.

Following the fallout from England's loss to Uruguay I read with some Schadenfreude David James Guardian article  and he sees the dead rubber game Old Blighty have to play against Costa Rica far differently to the way the Socceroos are approaching their dead rubber against Spain. Here are the lines I enjoyed the most:

"England’s last game, against Costa Rica, has got to be the worst game you can play in a World Cup. Ordinarily, you lose a game, and you go home. But to stay on and play for nothing? On the biggest stage in the world? That’s unheard of in English football. And it’s bound to be painful.

There is no pride left to salvage, no opportunity for points that might redeem the side.And whatever tactics Roy Hodgson employs, it will be a no-win situation for him. If the team put in a great performance with a change of personnel, everyone will question why he didn’t play them in the first place. If the team loses, the whole enterprise will be further consigned to failure on an epic scale. It is an impossible task"

Contrast that reaction to the way the Australian media and the way some former Socceroos have reacted and you find most are singing the sides praises.

Even though the players and coaches are disappointed to be heading home earlier than they would have liked Tim Cahill's goal has given the media and supporters something priceless for Australian football and it's future:

An Immortal World Cup moment. Arise Sir Tim Cahill, Duke of the Left Foot Volley

Because expectations were low it seems that moment alone by Sir Tim Cahill Duke of the Left Foot Volley is enough to satisfy the appetite of the Australian football fraternity.

GenNext

Looking ahead to the Pain in Spain game the other Socceroos players must surely have been suffering some Tim Cahill fatigue. I think it's time for the focus to shift on to Generation Next and what plans Socceroos boss Ange Postecocglou (bout time I spelt that right) has to combat the sleeping dog that is Spain.

Some Spanish journo's are saying that the reason Spain has performed so poorly in Brazil 2014 is that the team is tired and not really bothered because they've been there and done that.  Why should we bother Amigos?. We've already won the Euro's and the World Cup. Plus who wants to practice and play the triangle in the school band all the time?

For many years the Socceroos focus was on players with individual brilliance and fantasy.Australia was lucky to be blessed with great players like Ned Zelic, Paul Okon, Harry Kewell and Mark Viduka. Now with GenNext perhaps the future is the style of play, the system and structure of the team and the focus on the sum of the parts rather than the individual. 

By the time the Socceroos play at the next World Cup (they have to qualify of course)  the Rob Baan and Hann Berger Dutch revolution will have taken hold. Small sided games, no results and the fluid 4-3-3 will have had almost ten years to take hold in the Aussie football landscape. Who know what the Socceroos will look like in another four years. 

Strong personalities like Paul Okon, Ned Zelic, Harry Kewell, Tim Cahil and Lucas Neill saw a lot of territorial pissings going in  Socceroos camps and World Cup campaigns over the years. It's now a perfect opportunity for GenNext to make there mark, which is why I hope Ange P goes fully sick with the youth for the Spain game.

Why not give Adam Taggart, Ben Halloran, Oliver Bozanic, Massimo Luongo and Bailey Wrght some game time? I also think Mitch Langerak should get a start. I don't think I could handle anymore Matty Ryan blunders.  

Who knows perhaps the GenNext Hispters can cause their own Immortal World Cup moment by beating World Champions Spain!

Vamos Socceroos farken Vamos!

To be Embarrassed or NOT to be Embarrassed THAT is the QUESTION

Leading up to the Socceroos friendly send off as they head of to the World Cup in Brazil I got some Questions that have been swirling in my head.

When Socceroos boss Ange Postecoglu announced his Socceroos squad I paid close attention to his accompanying comments at the press conference:

"We'll have the whole nation watching in the middle of the night. I'm not going to tell them to get up and not feel great about it”

"And then our responsibility as I said is to excite them when they watch. To give them maybe that glimpse of a future and who knows maybe take them on a little bit of a wild ride through here when the unexpected happens."

Reading between the lines the main objective for the World Cup in Brazil is for the Socceroos not to be embarrassing Australia.  Consecutive six nil thrashings against France and Brazil meant that things had to change.

As the team goes through the rigmarole of press conferences, media and sponsor appearances and even some training I asked myself:

 Is this the worst Socceroos squad on paper I’ve seen since I’ve been following the team since 1988? On paper probably yes. Experience wise probably yes.

Will the Socceroos get smashed? In the cold hard light of day probably yes. But in Australia we don’t get many cold hard days our days are warm easy and laidback. In Brazil against Chile, Netherlands and Spain it could be miserable embarrassing and frustrating.

While the messages coming out from the Socceroos PR machine are positive are fans, pundits. Players and coaches deluded into thinking the team have any chance of not being embarrassed? It’s not so bad to lie to yourself sometimes. Unfortunately the scoreboard doesn’t lie. So most fans are being realistic and lots of Joe and Jane Public are saying: “we’re gonna get thrashed!”

 “The Socceroos defence looks like a mad women’s breakfast”

Many questions surround the final 23 man squad and then even more questions abound in who will take the field against LA Roja nickname for Chile means “the Red One who will thrash the Socceroos”

For years the Socceroos had mainstays in defence Alex Tobin and Milan Ivanovic, Lucas Neill and Craig Moore, Now the question of who will be in this Socceroos defence is still a ponderous one. Even the Ubermunch Ange Postecoglu doesn’t know. Curtis Good’s hip flexor just doesn’t want to heal, Trent Sainsbury fell on a sprinkler and his knee refused to get better in time for the World Cup. Mathew Spiranivich knee’s and hamstrings are one awkward lunge away from a lay off and that leaves Alex Wilkinson who tried to dribble to himself against Ecuador and it cost the Socceroos a goal. That’s why AP gets paid the big bux. As my Maths teacher Mr Sayburn used to say “The Socceroos defense looks like a mad women’s breakfast.” (He actually would say your Maths homework looks like a mad women's breakfast"

The midfield isn’t looking so stable at the moment either. Can Mile Jedinak bring that EPL form to the Socceroos? Jedinak got himself injured in the last game of the EPL. His groin refused to dive into anymore tackles. The Jak won’t get the time and space that the EPL defenders afforded him during his first season in Europe and expect him to be well covered by opposition defences at the World Cup.

“At what point do we accept that Marc Bresciano Is a Vampire?”

Another Question is: Can Marc Bresciano still bring it? After missing all those months suspended after someone at his club filled out the wrong form. FIFA and Centrelink must have a similar bureaucracy fill in the the wrong form and they take away your payments and penalise you for months.

And another question? At what point do we accept that Marc Bresciano is a Vampire? Look at 2006, 2010 and 2014 Bresh. Someone’s cabinet or safe is missing quite a large batch of their Elixir of Youth, Perhaps he is an Alchemist or some Druid in disguise because Bresh hasn't aged since the 2006 World Cup. He looks the same as he did when he scored against Uruguay and did the statue pose. C’mon Bresh score @ the World Cup & do the Statue!   

Pic Above is Marc Bresciano a Vampire like Pharell appears to be?

SHOOT FARKEN

Should I ask a question about the attack? Sure I will. By the time the defense and midfield are run ragged at some point the Socceroos will have to attack.

Such is the fashion these days of  world football that not playing with Strikers and flooding the team with midfielders is now the norm., The Shoot Farken school of thought is slowly been erased and just like universal health care and free education Strikers will be gazed upon in moments of nostalgia.

 Super Timmy Cahill another candidate for a Vampire as he too hasn’t aged and neither has his ability to leap higher than most tall defenders could be the Socceroos only Striker along with Josh Kennedy. Adam Taggart won’t probably make it in this World Cup squad (I’d like to see him go though I’m in the SHOOT FARKEN minority) Set pieces and Tommy Oar crossing for his life could be the Socceroos best chances.

Any more Questions? NO? Good. Let’s play!