Brazil - Colombia, Holland- Costa Rica WC Quarter Final Previews

Brazil - Colombia Side Show Bob vs Colombian Samba

"If we win the World Cup we can stay in Brazil, if we lose we will have to live in Europe"

That was Side Show Bob (David Luiz) from the Simpsons speaking to Gary Liniker in the excellent documentary "Lineker in Brazil" Of course the gift that is the internet has a picture of Sideshow Bob and David Luiz  ready for me.

The pressure on Brazil the home nation for the 2014 World Cup must by all synonyms of huge. Even though they have won five World Cup the Brazilians have a Word Cup history of buckling under the pressure. Losing to Uraguay in the last minute in 1954 and more recently The World Cup in France 1998 and the mystery of Ronaldo

That mystery was solved when during the aforementioned documentary "Lineker in Brazil the Potato chip spruiker Lineker, asks Ronaldo about what happened during the moments leading up to the 1998 World Cup Final against France. The strory goes after luch on the day of the final Ronaldo suffered a seizure and was unconscious for almost five minutes.

The Superstar Striker went to hospital and nothing was found to be medically wrong with him so after getting the all clear from the doctors and declaring himself fit to play the Striker went on to play the game whre he was poor impression of usual superstar self. History shows that France won the final against Brazil 3-0. Zidane scored two goals from corners with his head. Guess who was supposed to mark him at those corners? That's right Ronaldo.

Don't Cry for Me Brazil

The Brazilians have brought in a sports psychologist to ready the players minds before they take on Colombia. Tim Vickery the South American expert reckons the Jogo Bonito boys are crying before matches, during the game and after. Is it tears of relief or tears of joy?

It's well known before games the Brazilians turn up singing and dancing. I wonder what are they listening to before the games this time round. Enya? Cat Power? Andre Reus? I'd be crying before the game if the only strikers my team had were Fred and Jo. They are probably the worst pairing seen on a football pitch since Celine Dion and her Quebec accent played at Wembley Arena.

At the moment Neymar has the hopes of  200 million Samba botherers  on his shoulders. Hulk has been playing more like Bruce Banner and at times the the team looks more disjointed than Christoper Nolan's third Batman film the Dark Night Rises.

Still part of me wants Brazil to get their shit together and show us the real Brazil. It will make the party last longer.

Colombian Samba

Columbia meanwhile is doing really good business at this World Cup. They are taking apart every team that comes before them with football triumvirate of flair power and skill. I love watching James Rodriguez play he is an old school exponent of  Shoot Farken.  James with a H is upstaging the Brazilians in goals and in goal celebrations. I'm gonna learn me some Colombian Samba!

Will the South Americans produce a dour struggle were both teams cancel each other out because they know each other too well? You would love the cynicism and the pressure of a prospective semi final berth be put aside so the artist and football genius of Neymar and Rodriguez has time and space to shine.

Costa Rica - Holland Green vs Mean

To Paraphrase Kevin Keegan I would love it if Costa Rica beat Holland! Love it!

Those smug Dutch divers beat the Aussies and even serial flopper Robben has admitted to the world that he loves to to be vertically challenged, especially in the box. Along with their moments of thugness and smugness the Dutch have gone from exponents of  Total Football to Total Cheats.

The Dutch are a direct shadow of their former selves Their coach Van Gaal is not afraid to park the bus with five at the back and use the early release pass so Robben, Van Persie and Sneijder feed off the scraps.

But in saying that the Dutch do have quality running through their side. They are not a Kreas side by any means.

Costa Rica  could be in for one hell of a beating. The only weakness the Dutch posess is themselves. I only see them losing to the Tico's if they let their cynicism and arrogance beat them. Yes I'm going to say they are their own worst enemy but it's not just hubris that could be their downfall.

Tico Power

First they have to get through the Costa Rican Uber Keeper Keylor Navas. The Costa Ricans aren't shy when it comes to dangerous attacking threats themselves. Brian Ruiz who Fullham fans must be wondering why he didn't show his World Cup form when the team was being relegated form the English Premier League.

Joel Campbell the Arsenal squad member who Arsene Wenger like a strict parent only now loves because he is successful has the potential to scare the Orange out of the Dutch defenders.

Alas for lovers of Fairy Tales and triumphs of David's over Goliath's I fear the Costa Ricans and their "we aren't even supposed to be here today" mentality might be not be enough to win through against Holland.

The only authentic underdogs in the last eight probably have used up all their energy and luck during the Greece win. I forgive them for beating Greece and the Tico's can redeem themselves by beating the Netherlands. I would love it just love it if they can beat them!

Greece vs Costa Rica Analysis Round 16 World Cup 2014 Brazil

IN a previous piece, when the Socceroos got knocked out by Holland I used an old World Cup joke to lighten the mood. For this piece I'm using a pun. A joke is a sign that your team has not really done that well, but a pun aside from trophies is a sign of football progression.

So here is my Pun:

Greece Ruiz Gekas Penalty Miss


Got the Costa Rica scorer in there as well as the Greek Penalty Missee too. I give myself 7 out of 10.

After a couple of days to soak in the penalty loss to Costa Rica there is no point in looking for an escapegoat; ("cough" "Gekas", "cough" "Salpingidis").  Greece drawing with their Prothoti (Betrayer) namesake Costa (Rica) is no big shame.

But like the Socceroos in 2006 when they played against Italy against ten men, Greece will never probably get as good of an opportunity to get to the World Cup Quarter Finals. A date with smug Holland was so close. In the upcoming Quarter Final I'd just love the Costa Ricans to beat the Dutch and make the semifinals. What a great World Cup story that would be.

So close yet so far away for the Greeks they should have won that game but the football gods tired of blessing them and cursed them in the end. Poor Theofanis Gekas now has to carry the boulder of World Cup failure on his shoulders for eternity. ( Go the Myth of Sisyphus analogy! My Philosophy teacher would be proud or probably skeptical knowing her )

Talking Points 

• Costa Rica Termatofilakas (Goal Keeper) Keylor Navas was on some Mexican beans, saving everything that came in his way. Just like the IMF Navas denied the Greeks time and time again. 
• After Costa Rica's Group D win against Italy seven of their players were tested for drugs by FIFA. I'm not saying the the Tico keeper was on the roids but some of his saves were so good I would have asked him to piss in a small cup just to make sure.  
• Since 1949 Costa Rica has had no standing army. Go you hippies! It's something the Greeks could learn from as they spend a shit load of their GDP on defence. Perhaps instead of having National Service the Greeks could use that time making their young men practice penalties
• In 2012 Costa Rica was ranked Number One in the happiest nation in the World index. There must be heads exploding after they reached the World Cup Quarter Finals. By contrast it's no surprise Greece's happiness index has been falling rapidly due to their economic problems in recent times. At least they'll have the Ivory Coast game.
• Athens also topped the ugliest people in the world index too. According to Old Bull Lee a character in the Jack Kerouac book "On the Road". Old Bull Lee or if you know the history of the book  is the famous writer William S Burroughs. In the book his character says that: "he used to look up from his Ouzo in Athens and see the ugliest people in the world" 
• What's the reason of these two last points? Maybe it's the contradictions of teams and how they are perceived by the world. Maybe it's Greece were one of the unfancied teams in Brazil, who played "ugly" football but they did get further than a lot of many other fancied teams. To use one of my favourite Englishmen to paraphrase Winston Churchill: "Greeks don't play football like heroes; heroes play football like Greece" 
• Take that Old Bull Lee at least no Greek footballer shot his wife in the head while trying to shoot an apple that was sitting on top of it (yet).

The Game

When Greece equalised in the last minute of play through Sokratis Papastathopoulos (say that name after a few ouzo's) it was a surreal moment in my house. I watched the game at my folks house, and because they have Foxtel IQ I was able to pause the game during the various toilet breaks. My mother was watching in the kitchen and in the other room were my two Brothers George, Phillip, Dad and myself .

With not much time in normal play to go we hear a loud shriek coming from the kitchen. It's my mother yelling "EEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIII,  EEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIII".  My mother is getting on in age and likes to yell at the top of her voice like most Cypriot mothers when they are in pain. At first we all thought she fell over or was reeling in pain due to a paper cut. But she came running into the room screaming "they put one in! Greece put one in!!". Then on we look up at the TV screen we were watching and Greece scored. Then the rest of the family realised what was gong on and we all EEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIII'd ourselves.

My mother was watching the game live in the kitchen but The Foxtel IQ was delayed in the other room hence the delay in reaction.

Such was the emotion of the penalties in our house my mother was crying as Gekas went to take his penalty. Thank goodness I only have The Socceroos and Greece to follow because having this much emotional involvement at the World Cup is too much. I got no more dodgy puns left in me.