Socceroos - Spanish Inquisition (Analysis)

I didn't Expect the Spanish Inquisition

Yes I farken started this piece with a farken Monty Python quote. Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and a nice red uniform (make that two farken Monty Pyton quotes) is exactly how the La Farken Furiuos Roja took care of the Socceroos in Curtiba.

Matty Ryan opened his legs and let the Spanish  Matador Juan Mata score the third goal plunging his sword into a tiring bull that was the Socceroos campaign as the Aussies ended their World Cup in Brazil with a 3-0 loss without a point and without any real fight left in them.

That's two farken Spanish stereotypes in the two opening paragraphs as well as the who what where and how. I might golf clap myself but just like the Socceroos players I'm too cansado (tired).

In the end the Socceroos two chief weapons (still ripping off Monty Pyton I know) suspended Tim Cahil and half injured Mark Bresciano nullified any chance the Socceroos had of getting anything out of the Spain game. 

After the Aussies performed well above expectations against Chile and Holland fans worst fears materialised in the last group game. Against the country that loves pronouncing every "C" with a heavy "TH" and every second word with a lisp, it was too much to expect anything but a convincing defeat from the Spanish who were just too classy and skillful.

Even though they beat the Socceroos convincingly Spain were playing in second gear and they are out of the World Cup this early because they kept on playing Heavy Metal (possession based ticki tacka football) when the rest of the world had moved on to listening to Grunge (vertical passing, counter attacking football).

At least it wasn't a Pim Verbeek thrashing that happened four years ago in South Africa against Ze Germans, or  a Holger Osieck double six nil thrashing. There was no bravery or Anzac type spirit in this performance where the team played above themselves, unfortunately  it was what everyone expected. 

The Socceroos ended this concert with their worst song, it was a dodgy final third and it's probably my worst music and movie analogy.

You can't blame me though! I hate writing these pieces after the Socceroos lose. I don't know about you but when my team of choice loses I rarely read the match report or opinion pieces . So I don't know why you are even bothering to read this. Are you some sadist who enjoys basking in a loss are you vultures picking at the carcass of defeat?

Hey calm down don't be a Debbie Downer, we got four more years to wait till the next World Cup and the planning starts now! Plus don't forget the Asian Cup in January we expect to win  it easily now after how the Socceroos performed in Brazil. Left foot volleys from Tim Cahill here we come! Right? 

Positives

• I just got one. We don't have to listen to Craig Foster coach the team from the stands anymore. I liked it when there was some drama in the game and the Socceroos were in the fight but this game the assistant coach commentary was too much.

Random Player Analysis

• Mile Jedinak is so laid back in interviews and press conferences he sometimes gets mistaken for a chair. The Jak was guilty of horrible passing and moments of suspect defending and to top it off he got in the way of a Matt McKay volley against Spain. One of the few Socceroos chances on goal in the whole match. Do you agree with Eamonn Flanngan suggestion that he's the worst Croatian we've ever had?
• Matty Ryan. Alexis Sanchez, Robin Van Persie, Arjen Robben, Fernando Torres, Juan Mata, Nutmegs, Flaps and heading the ball 30 meters out from the Goal-line. Poor Matty Ryan had a World Cup to forget and because he is young and potentially has the skills to pay the bills he hasn't been crucified by the media. Mitch Langerack wasn't afforded so much forgiveness I would have loved to have seen him in action against Spain but it wasn't to be.

Bullshit Stories

• Tim Cahill is leaving New York Red Bulls  and sacrificing  his salary of three million plus to take a pay cut for two million and get booed while playing for Sydney FC. Just like Sepp Blatter is going to take away the World Cup from Qatar and give it to Australia, it's bullshit farken!
• Mathew Leckie had a great tournament don't get me wrong but he is far from the finished product, and a few dollars short at being valued at 10 million big ones. Besides the chest shot I don't think he had a shot on target the whole World Cup. To paraphrase Paul Keaitng he is all Ice and no Berg.(that doesn't make sense but remember, you're not even supposed to be reading this)

Facts That Aren't Cool Dude

• Brazil 2014 was Australia's worst World Cup performance in the History of the Universe!
• Australia conceded the most goals in their World Cup History! 
• The Socceroos didn't get a point in Brazil 2014 making this the worst World Cup in the History of Australian football universe!
• NOT getting to the next round means we still can't call them "Our Socceroos". Unless you get out of the group stage it's still "The Socceroos". Sorry but thems the rules
• Dodgy defence was the Socceroos downfall this time, not dodgy penalty decisions or dodgy send offs or dodgy handballs. They did it to themselves.
• Now that Australia's World Cup Odyssey has come to an end I'm sad. The A-League doesn't start till October. what will I write about now? Make up transfer stories like everyone else? An unnamed source suggest that Mathew Leckie is not moving to Barcelona!
• Dead rubbers at the World Cup suck worse than friendlies.

Cheers for reading my thoughts and grievances over the last couple of months.It doesn't get any better for a football writer than writing about the World Cup. I might write a weekly piece till the end of the World Cup just to keep the writing juices flowing.

Cheers
Con Stamocostas

Socceroos - Cholos (Chile) Analysis World Cup 2014 Brasil

What If?, Coulda, Woulda and Shoulda. 

No these are not the names of four Arabic restaurants they are the burning questions that will surround the Socceroos after their 3-1 World Cup opening game loss to Chile in Cuiaba Brasil.

What If?, Shoulda, Woulda and Coulda are usually a luxury in life, moving forward is the mantra and to forget the past is what we're told to live a happy and healthy life. But for football countries like Australia it's almost the lifeblood of the game. 

The Iran game and the Italy game and now the Chile game can now join the illustrious company of Australian World Cup heartbreaks. It is definitely worth arguing that the Chile game has as many questions as the other two. 

This is due in parts to what happened before the Chile game and what happened during the loss to La Roja. Before the game there was a number of player retirements forced or other wise. The debate raged particularly from one of these "retirees" shot botherer Mark Schwarzer. The hero for the Socceroos on many occasions questioned whether sideline botherer Ange Postecoglu had picked the strongest squad. This point of view riled up many fans and even Postecoglu himself.

Also lets not forget the number of Socceroos that suffered injuries before the World Cup meant the team was short of key players and there was fear and trepidation that the youngsters would be overawed by the occasion.

The What Ifs?

• What if Ryhs Williams. Robbie Kruse and Tom Rogic hadn't got injured before the World Cup? The Socceroos would have had much more experience and quality with this triumvirate if they were in Brasil. 
• What if Harry Kewell and Mark Schwarzer hadn't retired. You wonder what kind of difference they would have made. 
• What if the youngsters had more game time together rather than just two or three friendlies to get the team harmony and cohesion in place?
• What if Tim Cahill wasn't offside for that would be equalising goal? 
• What if Bresh's volley was an inch up and to the right, up and to the right?

The Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda's 

• Mile Jedinak shoulda played better! In all the analysis after the game Robbie Slater is the only one that kept it real. The Jak was responsible for both opening goals. 
• Tommy Oar coulda played better but it wasn't all his fault but I'll come back to that later.
• Maty Ryan shoulda stayed on his line! Schwarzer woulda done better and the Socceroos coulda stayed at 0-0 for a bit longer.
• Mathew "I played a brilliant farken game" Leckie shoulda used the shoot farken mentality when he surged down the right hand side and shot with his left foot instead of cutting in on his right. It coulda been one of the all time clashic World Cup goals!
• Ange Postecoglu coulda and shoulda made better subs it woulda made a difference with 20 mins to go! Read below why.

Ange got it Wrong

Ange Postecoglu got his pre- World Cup wish. He wanted the Socceroos to be a team that the Australian sporting public would be excited by again. The game was a tense watch. The Aussies took the fight to Chile. Most fans before the game and after the first 20 mins thought an arse whipping was coming. But the team fought back, were brave and showed that true Aussie fighting spirit. Ange got his wish; The Socceroos are an exciting team to watch again. 

But alas for me that's not good enough. Ange Postecoglu got the last 20 mins wrong. The talk from Ange post match has been that the during the first 20 mins the team was overawed particularly the youngsters. He said that their inexperience showed and that the team was nervous and that''s why they copped two goals in the first 20 mins. 

But I disagree. It wasn't nerves it wasn't inexperience it was Alexis Sanchez quality and flair and poor defending by Mile Jedinak. Dirty Sanchez ripped the Socceroos apart  and I blame Mile Jedinak! For the first Chilito goal he was out jumped for the header that fell to Alexis Sanchez and for the second goal he was turned inside out like a ballroom dancer  by the Cholo Sanchez again. 

Perhaps blaming it all on Mile is unfair but he deserves some castigation. Sometimes that kind of quality is almost impossible to defend against.   A back heel before the first goal set up the cross down the right but Mile Jedinak was out jumped by a much smaller Chilito who headed the ball back to Sanchez who then performed keyhole surgery with that strike beating Spiranovich and Ryan at the near post. The second goal it was Sanchez skill again that caused the space to open and it was Jedinak who was beaten. Not the youngsters fault. 

But back to how Ange got it wrong. Lets harp back to 2006. Against both Japan and Croatia when the Socceroos needed goals there were literally four strikers on the pitch. The Socceroos are a crossing team. They don't do ticka tacka or triangles they look to go out wide and cross to targets in the box. One target in the box with the game on the line is not taking a risk. In my opinion Ange was too conservative. Why didn't Ange leave on Tommy Oar and bring on Taggart instead? Tim Cahill can't do everything by himself and in the end he couldn't. 

One target in the box for a crossing team is not enough!

Sure Josh Kennedy was injured but the lack of Strikers in the squad  pre theWord Cup was alarming and it was the Socceroos undoing as they tried valiantly to find that equalising goal. 

It would have been an interseting last 10 mins if someone like Tom Juric and  Adam Taggart joined Tim Cahill on the pitch as the Socceroos pushed for that equaliser.  Tommy Oar had an average game because he had no-one to cross to. 

Citing the the Ivory Coast as an example they too are a crossing team and once they brought on Didier Drogba they scored two goals in their comeback win against Japan. 

Hopefully Ange learns from this when the Socceroos play the Orange Botherers Holland. 

Tim Cahill Does it Again

I am tempted to call this blog "Head Farken Super Timmy Cahill". Some A Football Story readers would know that I went to High School with Tim Cahill. He was three years behind me and he always had a football with him as he walked the KNHS hallways. 

At the time of writing this blog Tim Cahill has scored more World Cup goals than Lionel Messi and Christiano Ronaldo combined. I'm sure you football stat lovers already know Campsie's most famous Son's name is up there with Baggio, Klinsmann, Robben, Van Persie and Mattheus as one of the few footballers in the World who have scored at three consecutive World Cups. It's a wonderful talking point and this piece of knowledge must be taught in Australian schools with other notable Aussie achievements that have affected the World. Like ACDC, The Selfie and Top Shelfing.

Socceroos - Chile Preview World Cup 2014 Brazil

Opening Match (Smashed?) 

According to the 2011 Census there are 24,900 Chileans who live in Australia. Most of these Chilitos reside in Bossley Park and Fairfield in Western Sydney NSW. A lot of them would be Western Sydney Wanderers supporters and only a small percentage I suspect would be supporting the Socceroos. Ahh the duality of being an ephnic football supporter. I'm sure these Chilitos (i just love that nickname) are all licking their Arolla De Chanco flavoured lips at the prospect of getting three points against the Socceroos.

I have a Chilean friend with a very Chilean name called Bruno. He told me a story once about how his father used to be a bodyguard for a Chilean politician around the 1960's or 1970's. One day this Chilean politician had an assassination attempt made on his life. Bruno's father the bodyguard ran away with no intention at all of protecting the politician. "Fuck this guy i'm not giving him my life" was the way Bruno told the story of hisfFather's mindset as he ducked and ran for cover as the bullets flew past.

What does this story have to do with the Socceroos opening World Cup match (smashed?) against La Roja? Nothing really just an entertaining side bar to help stretch out this preview because to be honest I'm not a Chilean football expert and neither is Bruno he hates Soccer!

Chile Fact File

What I do know about Chile thanks to the Official Australian FIFA World Cup Media Guide is that Chile's highest World Cup placing was in 1962 were they finished third. I say that because for this edition of the Cup some experts have Chile as one of the favourites. Ouch! How many favourites for the World Cup can you have in one group? 

I know Chile qualified third in their South American World Cup Qualifying group. I know that their record against the Socceroos is four games played, with three wins to Chile and one draw. That draw was at the 1974 World Cup against a team of no name part timers. Could it be an Omen for this game? Probably not but a draw would be a positive result so i'll take it as an Omen.

Looking at their squad list I know that Chile has World Clarsh players in their team. Defender Mauricio Isla (47 caps) plays for Juventus, Winger Alexis Sanches (67 caps, 22 goals) could possibly tear the Socceroos back line a new one. Valencia forward Eduardo Vargas (30 caps, 14 goals) is no slouch either. His dial is always on the highlights real when Chile plays. Arturo Vidal (54 caps, 8 goals) has been in the news in recent days because the Juventus playmaker is injured and could miss the game. But as Mile Jedinak has been saying he is only one player.

Will the Socceroos cause an upset?

Most Socceroos fans in Brazil didn't put a 10k debt on their credit card to see the Green and Gold get smashed. Even though Josh Kennedy (Jesus) didn't make it to Brazil  fans back home and in Brazil are praying for some type of miracle.. Is there a Messiah for the Socceroos who can walk on water and can turn graft and grit into goals? Can Tim Cahill do it again? Can Bresh find some space for a killer pass, through ball or sumptuous cross? Can Tommy Oar turn potential into Socceroos provider?

Historically a win or a draw in the first game compared to a loss increases the chances of a team qualifying for the next stage. The Socceroos are eschewing their opponents favouritism by talking up their low expectations and underdog status as well as their team spirit. However low expectations and underdog status didn't help the Socceroos cause against Germany four years ago.

What the Socceroos do have in their favour is the element of surprise. Chile will probably be focusing on their own game. While the Socceroos coaching staff would be putting in the hours analyzing the Chilitos players and their playing patterns like a Tiger Mom instructing their child to study harder!

C'mon just start the game already!

There is nothing more to really say. I'm all previewed out and probably so are you. After narrowly missing out on the group stage four years ago in South Africa and having to go through Holger Oscieck's harrowing tenure. We are now just hours away from Ange Postecoglu's youth and attack policy. The Socceroos players, fans and coaching staff stand on the precipice ( Andy Harper ©) of World Cup elimination or World Cup distinction.

Will the Socceroos Fall or Rise? 

All that's left is C'mon the Socceroos and Super Timmy Cahill Australia needs you to Head Farken!

Socceroos - Croatia 2014 World Cup Warm Up Analysis

Well doesn't that feel better? After the Socceroos dull and lackadaisical performance against South Africa the Australians proved once again that when faced with a much superior opponent and higher ranked team this time Croatia they were able to put in a competitive performance. 

That Kangarouthes were able to match it with the Croat's who had Luka Modric and Mateo Kovacic  in midfield (one plays for a little team called Real Madrid the other for Inter Milan)  and that they only suffered a narrow loss is heart warming looking ahead to the Socceroos opening game against Chile.

A lucky deflection saw Croatian goal botherer Jelavic in mountains of space and wacked it like a kid playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Positives

• The Socceroos didn't get thrashed, smashed on the scoreboard or in general play. The Aussies were competitive and were able to control parts of the game without being caught out in defence too often (except for the goal)

• The back four was solid in defence with GoalKeeper Matt Ryan only employed on a few occasions.

• Matt Spiranovic didn''t get injured yeah! Alex Wilkinson had his best game in a Socceroos shirt. Spiranovic is quality. Easily the Aussies best player in defence. He is able to settle the team with his ability on the ball and his excellent judgement when playing out of defence. Alex Wilkinson is definitely the if in doubt kick it out type player but I don't mind that, one ball playing Libero in defence is enough.

• Jason "outstanding season" Davidson also had his best game in a Socceroos shirt. The left back looked the most self assured since he started playing for the green and gold and when he bombed down the left hand side he showed a sense of fearlessness that permeated through the whole team. 

• Now to the midfield. Mile Jedinak played almost 3/4 of the game and showed that when he is on the pitch makes he the Socceroos stronger. Along with Mathew Spiranovic The all important spine of the team is much more healthier. 

• Tommy Oar had a stint at Centre Attacking Midfield and will probably spend more time there until Mark Bresciano  fitness improves. Having Oar in the centre nullifies the Socceroos most potent weapon: Crossing to Tim Cahill, but at least the Australians weren't as one dimensional as they were against South Africa.

• I reckon Mark Breciano's cameo was the biggest positive of all for the Socceroos. Part Time Socceroos antagonist Fairfax journalist Mike Cockerill has put down the gauntlet to Bresh. Saying it's time the former Parma and Palermo midfield maestro to step up his performances after two disappointing previous World Cups. 

• Fearlessness it seems is the buzzword describing the Socceroos performance against Croatia. Most Pundits and Commentators are saying that the Socceroos are building for the future. But the FUTURE IS NOW! If the Socceroos can take the positives from their last performance and somehow jam a positive result (I mean fluke a win) against Chile in the opening game it's game on a baby!  

Negatives

No negatives besides not being able to create many clear cut chances and score goals which is a worry. Chile play three at the back so if the Socceroos can keep it tight I don't see why they can't cause the La Roja some problems. After all everyone is in equal position before the first game aren't they?